College football has at last vacated the playing fields and the TV screens. The players will now spend the rest of the school year studying up a storm. Believe that, and I'll tell you another.
But you can believe this: Bob Hoobing of Alexandria has done it again.
Those of you who were with us last January will recall that Bob submitted (and I published) his 1986 All-Appropriate College Football Team. It boasted a running back named Derrick Gainer, a defensive end named Calvin Ruff and other deliciously named gridders.
Now Bob has done it again. Without further ado, here is his 1987 edition:
Quarterbacks -- Steve Keene, Toledo; Chris Speaks, Furman.
Running backs -- Kenny Gallop, Norfolk State; Bobby Crumpler, North Carolina State; Frank Hatchett, Kansas.
Wide receivers -- Herb Gainer, Florida State; John Talley, West Virginia; Boyce Starring, Southwest Louisiana; Bobby Jack Goforth, Baylor.
Tight end -- Tom Bragg, Western Illinois.
Centers -- Rod Holder, Miami (Fla.); Joe Lawless, Ohio U.
Guards -- Perry Thrasher, Southern Mississippi; George Crouch, Northern Illinois; Dennis Smart, Middle Tennessee State; Matt Fitts, Fullerton.
Tackles -- Bob Sledge, Nebraska; Steve Slay, Wyoming; Dave Popp, Eastern Illinois.
Ends -- Keith Powe, Lamar; Ray Savage, Virginia; Shed Diggs, South Carolina.
Tackles -- Trent Tripp, Minnesota; Pat Pinner, Florida.
Middle guards -- Ulysses Slaughter, Southern Mississippi; Troy Conquest, Maine.
Linebackers -- Crash Landin, Georgia Southwestern; Dennis Wildman, Utah State; Sherman Springs, Catawba.
Defensive backs -- Ernest Spears and Tracy Butts, University of Southern California; Mark Hurt, Alabama State; James Hasty, Washington State.
No, the specialists weren't left out. They are:
Place kickers -- Greg Worker, Wyoming and David Treadwell, Clemson.
Punter -- James Quick, Georgetown.
Kick returner -- Gary Cannon, Indiana State.
The street names in Beltwayland are certainly weird in places. Places like Fairfax (Yellow Brick Road). Places like Silver Spring (Musicmaster Drive). Places like Columbia (any street you care to choose).
But in Guernsey County, Ohio, street-name weirdness takes on a whole new dimension.
I.J. Abraham of Hagerstown has just sent along a magazine piece that tells of what the Guernsey County engineer did recently when he had four new streets to name in Millwood Township.
He chose Yukantsi Lane, Deforest Lane, Forthet Lane and Rees Lane.
Don't get it?
Drop the four "Lanes." Then say the four remaining words quickly.
From Mary M. Stolzenbach of Vienna:
"I recently saw a poster on a wall around here, advertising the date and place of an ESP and psychic fair.
"Bob, why did they need to put up those posters?"
Promise. Honest injun. Cross my heart. This is the last time until next November that I will bug you. But bug you I will -- one more time.
If you have not yet contributed to our annual fund-raising campaign on behalf of sick kids, I urge you to. The 1987-88 campaign ends tomorrow. We are teetering on the brink of a record -- and your check could push us over.
Many thanks in advance.
These group donations arrived in recent days:
Whitfield's Heavy Hauling, Inc., Silver Spring ($100).
The Coffee Club, Delivery Services Department, U.S. Postal Service ($24).
Suzanne K. Levy's Sunday Gan/Alef class at Har Tzeon-Agudas Achim Consolidated Religious School ($20) and her Wednesday Alef class at B'nai Israel Consolidated Religious School ($16).
Brown Bag Bridge Club, Arlington and Alexandria ($25).
Social & Scientific Systems, Inc., Bethesda ($520, half from the First Annual S3 Children's Hospital Fund-raising Drive, half from the boss, Herbert J. Miller).
Community Woman's Club, Annandale ($100).
Goldstein & Baron, College Park ($25).
"The crew" at Giant Food store No. 160, Edgewater, Md. ($60 in honor of Rusty Anderson and Mark Kabler)
The Behnke Nurseries Co., Beltsville and Largo ($2,832.46, half from the employees, half from the company).
Grading/Sediment Control Section, Prince George's County Government ($35).
Student Council, Weatherless Elementary School, Southeast ($10).
Student Council, Hyattsville Elementary School, Hyattsville ($33).
Ozmar, Vienna ($125).
Nancy Dennis' first graders at Westbrook Elementary School, Bethesda ($25).
Intersearch Corp., Horsham, Pa. ($50 in the name of Dr. Howard Young).
Brian Hunt's sixth grade class at Seabrook Elementary School, Seabrook ($20).
Employees of the Northern Virginia Board of Realtors ($115).
Skylarks (AFOWC) ($25).
State Regulatory & Industry Relations Department, Bell Atlantic-NSI ($295).
The staff, Development, Engineering & Acquisition, AMC ($400).
Associates in the Herndon office of Merrill Lynch Realty ($42).
Group Corvair of Washington ($500 raised through a food sale at the annual flea fair).
The staff at Answering, Inc. ($500, and a lusty welcome-aboard to this bunch for the 16th year in a row).
"All the folks" at Colton and Boykin (a scrumptious $2,116).
Office of the Assistant Secretary for Personnel Administration, Department of Health and Human Services ($200 raised during the annual Christmas open house).
International Union of Gas Workers ($50).
The D.C.-Area Office of Mueller Associates, Inc. ($130).
The Bykota Class, Woodbine Baptist Church, Manassas ($25).
Audit, Compliance and Investigation Administration, D.C. Department of Finance and Revenue ($100).
Employees of the Freedom of Information-Privacy Acts Section, Federal Bureau of Investigation ($367).
Really wonderful! Thank you very much. TO CONTRIBUTE TO THE CAMPAIGN:
Make a check or money order payable to Children's Hospital and mail it to Bob Levey, The Washington Post, Washington, D.C., 20071.
THE CAMPAIGN ENDS TOMORROW.