Let's face it, the squirrel squadrons are taking over the area. Squirrels caused the closing of Montgomery County's Wheaton Regional Park {"Crazed Critters Take Over Park," Metro, Oct. 27}. Baring their surgically sharp incisors, they drove kids out of the park after stealing their Chicken McNuggets.

The problem is obvious: The double hatch of squirrels this year, caused by an overabundance of acorns, has created a year-end food shortage just at the time most squirrels should be husbanding their winter supplies by scatter hoarding or nut burying.

Since squirrels eat as much or more than their body weight (16 ounces to 24 ounces) each week, they are running out of food and are stockpiling supplies from foreign sources, i.e. humans. The result: deficit spending at its worst. The next thing we know they'll be hitting Congress with a relief bill.

The solution is simple. Groups of squirrels share their scatter hoards all winter. Squirrels in this area have obviously reached a time in their evolution when they require a computer system for survival. They have their own system of communication, so let them adapt to a simplified data bank that any squirrel could operate. Hardware is no problem. Already squirrels in Washington have been using electrical transformers to stockpile nuts and incidentally causing blackouts. Software should list (1) scatter hoards within an area of one city block; (2) input, possibly color coded, on the type of food (acorns, walnuts, McNuggets, etc.); (3) number of participating squirrels (to keep track of workers and loafers); and (4) inventory and stock withdrawals made as winter wears on.

Once the system is in place and squirrels develop confidence in the system of supply and demand, they should gain a new sense of security. Then it is conceivable that the incidents of frantic park takeovers and highway suicides will diminish, and a kinder, gentler squirrel will develop.