Like holes in the target at our Sunday turkey shoots, errors and omissions fill Howard Schneider's "Where We Live" article on Accokeek {Real Estate, Dec. 15}.

Although it's gratifying that he focuses on L.A. -- Lower Accokeek, readers should know that the town is much more than a mere crossroads. In fact, the town boasts the major traffic light between Fort Washington and Bryan's Road.

Schneider, who obviously never got out of his car, did not discover the famous Miracle Mile, which includes Trombino's Restaurant, the House of Wash and the House of Video plus Keller's Korner Market. Nor did the reporter uncover the exciting night life every Wednesday at Big Bucks Bingo, held in the only combination Knights of Columbus Hall-public library in the county.

Other important omissions include: Colonial Farm, Hard Bargain Farm and the Indian burial grounds. "Accokeek" is an old Piscataway word that means "beyond the yuppie." Yuppies and other tourists are always welcome if they are willing to risk nicotina fever, giant poisonous snakes and sudden sandstorms. Tourists can make appointments to tour the sludge treatment plant by contacting the chamber of commerce, open monthly during the waxing moon.

The easiest and least expensive way to see Accokeek is to drive to Mount Vernon, walk out on the porch and look across the river. The smoke puffs indicate our ever-popular, always-dangerous turkey shoots.

DENNIS SHAW Accokeek