Hi, kids, this is your president And I just want a minute to say You are the future. I'm proud of you. So register today. Now don't get me wrong, we're not going to war. But in case I must, well, intervene, I'd just like to know how to get in touch Tonkin-quick like, know what I mean? See, Rosalynn and me, we're opposed to the draft So each day we ask peace from the Lord. But should war ever come, by gosh, I'd look dumb If there were rust on my sword. So I spoke to our Maker, Miz Lillian, too, And asked: What shall I give our nation? And you know what the two of them whispered to me? Why not the best? Registration. When the God-fearing folks of Afghanistan Were attacked by those atheist Reds I knew it was time to stop praying and act. Prayers just go over their heads. In a flash, God revealed the doctrine to me: Strength is theirs who honor its Source! Repel by all means attacks on the Gulf By any outside force. Here's what you'll get in return for your time Besides our appreciation: Less pay, less say, the suspension of rights, Death in an interesting nation. So register now, for Chevron and Christ, For Mobil, for Exxon, for Shell, For Texaco, Conoco, Arco and Hess, Hurl the damned heathens to hell! Smite down the infidels! Blast their blockade! Come on, kids, defend foreign soil In the name of the Father, Sun, holy Gulf. Blood's a lot cheaper than oil.