Q: The 1980 Census asked too many personal questions which were none of the government's darn business. Didn't you think some of those questions were totally out of place? A: Yes, especially Question H12, "Have you ever gone all the way on a first date?" Q: According to one gossip column, Ronald Reagon is the only presidential candidate who took the time to fill out and send in his census form. Do you happen to know why Mr. Reagan was so conscientious about completing his questionaire? A: He thought it was an IQ test. Q: I've read that the Census Bureau recently began a pilot program which will provide more detailed data on family mobility than that obtained from the regular census. What is this new program? A: In certain localities, the Bureau is not only counting citizens but tagging them. Q: The U.S. Forest Service has Smokey the Bear. Another government agency has Woodsy Owl. Don't you think the Census Bureau likewise needs an animal personality to promote its goals and objectives? A: Good idea. What about Nosey Possum? Q: The census obviously is a massive undertaking requiring millions of dollars and manhours. But for all the effort and expense that goes into it, how accurate is it numerically? A: Well, I'm told it only gave Bo Derek a 3 1/2. Q: First, my tax form required me to state how much I earned. Then comes the census form wanting to know how much my house was worth, how many cars I own, and if I had an air conditioner. Why so many financial questions? Isn't this a duplication of effort? A: No. The census form lets the government know what it forgot to taken when you paid your taxes.