NOW THAT the Mafia is reportedly moving into America's pizza parlors, can anything be done to stop the crime syndicates from taking over other kinds of restaurants?
There are at least two sides to this question. While I generally appose murder, extortion and similar antisocial acts, only rarely has anyone been bludgeoned to death with french-fried eggplant.
Besides, in many ways the Mafia is ideally suited to operate restaurants. You saw "The Godfather." They have to do something with the rest of the horse.
Some people worry that the mob may not be as understanding as Burger King.
Special orders might upset them.
As a public service, here are a few warning signs to watch for that could indicate a restaurant is controlled by organized crime:
You call for a reservation, and the voice on the other end sounds like Walter Winchell.
A lot of people come up to the maitre d' to hug him and kiss him on both cheeks.
After you pick the lobster that you like in the tank, a contract is put out on it.
You send your steak back, and everybody at the adjoining tables hits the floor.
The kid who parks your car has you start it first.
It should be emphasized that none of this is conclusive evidence. Still, you might want to think twice before you take your girlfriend there on St. Valentine's Day.