I am the very model of a Reaganite American, I'm anti-intellectual and anti-esoterican. I've membership in Jerry-Falwell's Moralist Majority, And find the MX vital to our national security. I cheered when they appointed Gen'ral Haig to serve the cabinet -- I think it our military branch an extra jab in it. Now, if a Third World power should provoke us with a small accost, We'll batten down the hatches for a grand atomic holocaust. To save our country's dignity I'd gladly have us nuked to death, If air pollution doesn't get us first and make us puke to death. I'm anti-intellectual and anti-esoterican, I am the very model of a Reaganite American. Regarding foreign products that bedevil our economy, I think we should expel them and maintain a true automomy. Which means that those Toyotas that were once so economical Become so astronomical, to buy one would be comical. Domestic'ly I say we should be rather parsimonious And kill the social programs that have proven so erroneous. With Stockman as the helm we will eliminate all frillery, But spare the bare necessities, like nuclear artillery. The neediest will have to give their belts another tightening, But they're already starving, so I don't see what's so frightening. Republicans with incomes that are extraordinary can Survive the "balanced budget" of the Reaganite American. Reaganite not only fights for economic piety But also brings sobriety to our perverse society. The sexual revolution is a matter of enormity - We'll end the new permissiveness, return to sweet conformity. We'll crush the ERA until it's obsolete cadaverage (Unless we are referring to pitcher's Earned Run Average). A woman still have the right to do the things she wishes to, As long as she does windows and she washes all the dishes, too. Now, liberty may suffer if we legislate morality, For government's the nemesis of individualty, But ev'ry certifiable conservative hysteric can Sleep soundly with the knowledge he's a Reaganite American.