From "Andrew Carnegie's Peace Endowment" by Larry L. Fabian, published by the Carnegie Endowment for International Peace:

America's favorite humorist early in this century was Finley Peter Dunne, whose voice was that of the homespun and thoroughly irreverent Irish barkeep, Mr. Dooley. Carnegie and peace were two subjects he could not resist.

"I like Andhrew Carnaygie. Him an' me ar-re agreed on that point. I like him because he ain't shamed to give publicly. Ye don't find him puttin' on false whiskers an' turnin' up his coat- collar whin he goes out to be benivolent. No, sir. Ivry time he dhrops a dollar it makes a noise like a waither fallin' down-stairs with a tray iv dishes. He's givin' th' way we'd all like to give. I niver put annything in th' poor-box, but I wud if Father Kelly wud rig up like wan iv thim slot-machines, so that whin I stuck in a nickel me name wud appear over th' altar in red letthers. . . . Him that giveth to th' poor, they say, lindeth to th' Lord; but in these days we look f'r quick returns on our invistmints. I like Andhrew Carneygie, an', as he says, he puts his whole soul into th' wurruk."

Mr. Dooley did not see much good, however, in the second Hague Conference.

"Th' convintion thin discussed a risolution offered be th' Turkish dillygate abolishin' war altogether. This also was carrid, on'y England, France, Rooshya, Germany, Italy, Austhree, Japan, an' th' United States votin' no. This made th' way f'r th' discussion iv th' larger question iv how future wars shud be conducted in th' best inthrests iv peace. . . . Th' Hon'rable Joe Choate moved that in future wars horses shud be fed with hay wheriver possible. Carrid."