I was intrigued by the responses of the "bright, accomplished and responsible" teen-agers whom Patrick Welsh interviewed for his article on teen sexuality {Outlook, Nov. 29}. These teen-agers have developed "self-confidence" and "deep enjoyment" from their "committed" sexual relationships of a few months. What about the thousands of teens who have spoken about their heart-breaking and devastating experiences from engaging in premarital sex? I wonder if the young woman suffering guilt and anguish after giving herself totally to some boy who "loved" her is apt to tell Mr. Welsh of her feelings of despair? And what about that young girl who is struggling with the grief of having had her unborn child aborted? Is she likely to confess to Mr. Welsh that she is hurting and that she wishes she could undo the past? I doubt it.

I don't doubt that there are some "extraordinarily mature" teen-agers out there who can handle multiple sexual relationships, but my guess is that they are few -- because the time-tested motives still hold true with regard to teen-age sexuality. The boys are reacting to their newly acquired sexual urges and the need for peer approval, and the girls are still searching for love and intimacy.

We are reaping the consequences of the sexual revolution. This year more than 1.1 million teen-age girls will become pregnant; 400,000 of these pregnancies will end in abortion, and 60 percent of these girls will become pregnant again in two years. The gonorrhea rate among teen-age girls has increased 400 percent since 1965 and is the highest of any age group. It has been shown that women who have had multiple sexual partners or instances of intercourse at an early age are at the greatest risk for cervical cancer. Of course, I hardly need mention the horror of AIDS and other new strains of venereal disease that have no known cure or are resistant to cure.

In light of these staggering statistics, why do we still bombard our kids with sex in advertising, books, clothing, music and value-free sex education? Why are we so reluctant to say to our teen-agers: "No, don't do it; it's bad for you"? Perhaps it's because we, now in our late thirties and forties, the baby-boomers, the yuppie generation, the products of the sexual revolution of the '60s and '70s, are afraid to admit that maybe we were wrong. Maybe casual sex doesn't prove that we're progressive and liberated. Maybe it was just a form of rebellion paralleling all the other time-honored forms of rebellion. We not only don't want to admit we were wrong, but we don't want the sexual revolution to end. We don't want to change, and we can't teach our kids something that we didn't do and don't want to stop doing.

So what is the solution? Maybe one place to start is with educating parents about how to talk to their children. Most of us are not willing or able to talk with our children about their sexuality. We look at it as an invasion of privacy -- theirs and ours. Next, perhaps we need to revamp the sex education in our schools. We need to make it "in" to be a virgin again. This doesn't mean returning to the 1950s mind-set of strict condemnation and evading the reality of our sexual nature. We need to approach sexual abstinence among our youth in a positive way, emphasizing the benefits.

We need to tell teen-agers about all the new freedoms they'll have. They will be free from guilt and loss of self-respect, free from abortion and adoption decisions, free from disease that can sterilize and sometimes even kill and free to plan their lives as they choose. We need to teach girls that physical closeness does not provide true intimacy, but only serves as a temporary and sensory substitute for love and security. We need to teach boys what it means to really be a man and how to express that. We also need to give teen-agers advice on how to date and achieve intimacy without getting sexually involved.

There is nothing good, advantageous or beneficial in teen-agers having sex. They are not animals who are incapable of self-control. To say that they are "going to do it anyway" is to shortchange our children. We owe them more than this. JEANNETTE F. WILLIAMS Vienna