From The New Yorker (Dec. 28):

The moment {has} arrived to examine Mikhail Sergeyevich Gorbachev's suitability as a candidate for the presidency of the United States. . . .

Which party should nominate him? Whichever one can get him. He would make the most telegenic candidate since John F. Kennedy, the most cerebral since Adlai Stevenson, the most exotically appealing since Eldridge Cleaver. His English isn't all that great, he's long-winded at times, and -- let's face it -- he's a little short on Errol Flynn anecdotes, but he has an excellent smile. Coming up with a campaign slogan will offer an entertaining challenge. "I Like Mike," despite its concise poetry and historical resonance, is probably too obvious. . . . Perhaps something bold and forthright, like the candidate himself, a fastball right across the letters: "Gorby. Get Him While He's Hot."

. . . This entire discussion presupposes that Mr. Gorbachev would be willing to accept a draft. What argues in favor of that prospect is simple, everyday greed. The base salary -- two hundred thousand dollars -- is, one would imagine, several multiples better than what he's pulling down over in Moscow at the moment. Those boxy Zil limousines he now rides around in are no doubt comfortable and, it seems, can stop on a dime if a candidate impulsively decides to jump out and start pressing the flesh with pedestrians. But instead of the usual dacha near the Black Sea we can offer him Camp David. . . .

Comrade Mikhail Sergeyevich, an adventurous, fun-loving, egalitarian nation -- the same fair-minded democracy that has acknowledged Gary Hart's right to reenter the race -- eagerly awaits your decision.