News Item: On Nov. 21, the Voyager of the Seas, the largest cruise ship on Earth, will set sail from Miami for its maiden cruise.
If you're the kind of person we think you are, you'll be on board for Voyager's debut, shooting hoops on its full-size basketball court, swimming in its three pools, skating on its ice rink--reveling in every one of its 142,000 tons of fun.
You're a person who wants--no, who demands--MORE. From the 18 feet, 4 inches of your Chevy Suburban to that last drop of your Starbucks venti cappuccino, you're someone who knows that bigger is always better. Which is why we're proud to bring you MORE!, the catalogue for people who believe Too Much is Never Enough.
Finally, a Check as Big as Your Bank Account!
MORE! and Bank Universale introduce an important new service for Ultra Account Holders *: The Colossus Check. When you're making a billion-dollar deal, you don't want to pay with a check that looks like a dry-cleaning receipt. With the Colossus, you'll never be ashamed of your checkbook again. An exact replica of the checks awarded to lottery and golf tournament winners, the Colossus Check measures a full 4 feet across and 2 feet tall, with a signature line 18 inches long. (Available colors: gold, platinum, emerald, vanadium. Complimentary "Hercules" pen included with every checkbook.)
The Colossus Check: Isn't it time you made a statement?
* Minimum combined balance: $1.4 billion or 50 percent ownership of a post-IPO Internet startup
De Plus En Plus: The Massif Fall Collection
Less is more? Absurde! Now Henri Massif and MORE! present a line of clothing for those who know why excess matters. Inspired by Stop Making Sense, Bozo the Clown, and Henri's great-uncle Morris, De Plus En Plus is clothing that gives you what you pay for: more wool in every suit, more silk in every tie, more leather in every shoe.
Suits from $12,000. Sizes XXXXL to XXXXXXXXXL.
Shoes from $4,500. Men's sizes 26 to 40 (84-115 European).
De Plus En Plus: Because a man is only as big as his clothes.
New from Giga.com: The Megavac, a revolutionary computer for the premium home user.
Had enough of micro-laptops and mini-keyboards and midget screens? So have we! The Megavac hearkens back to the classic design and power of 1950s computers. We've replaced those hard-to-see microchips with sleek, stylish vacuum tubes, and scrapped the cramped disk drive in favor of elegant punch cards. Weighing more than 4,000 lbs., occupying an entire climate-controlled room, the Megavac contains all the power of a computer one-1,000th its size. It's a reminder of the time when computers really meant something.
The Megavac: You can't buy any more computer.
Titan Pale Ale, from W.H. Taft Brewing
You're on the go all day--trading stocks, meeting clients, signing contracts. You just don't have time to wait for another drink. Brewed exclusively for MORE! by the W.H. Taft Brewing Co., Titan Pale Ale is America's first macro microbrew. Containing only the finest hops and spring water, Titan has twice the alcohol content of regular beer and the same great taste. Each Titan comes in its own special triple-size glass flagon (40 ounces!).
The Titan: It will quench the biggest thirst--yours.
Fructivir, the first FDA-approved growth product for internal organs
We've all heard the horror stories: The investment banker who died waiting for a liver transplant. The transplantee whose new heart couldn't pump hard enough to keep him alive. Thanks to Immumax Technologies and MORE!, your worries are over.
Fructivir-enhanced organs will never quit on you! A pill-a-day regimen of Fructivir can give any successful professional a Grande-sized organ--big enough for your on-the-go lifestyle. A lung that can puff your Havanas for another 50 years! A heart that will pump through 1,000 more T-bones at the Palm! A bladder that will make it all the way through a 15-inning ballgame!
Because everyone should have a big heart.
Jumbo Valley Baseball Camp: Preparing Boys for the Real World Since 1985
At Jumbo Valley, we know that the competition never ends for today's brightest kids. Our philosophy: Offer boys who play baseball the challenges that will make them men. *
Public schools and the major leagues play ball on diamonds with 90-foot base paths. Well, that may be fine for them--but is it enough for your son? Ninety feet is average, and you know that "average" doesn't cut it anymore. At Jumbo Valley, your son will learn to play the game on a 120-foot diamond. He'll run and field harder than he ever thought he could. And when the time comes for college admissions, the extra effort he exerts at Jumbo Valley could make all the difference. You can afford to give your son a little more diamond. Shouldn't you?
Jumbo Valley: We don't level the playing field, we enlarge it.
* Girls! Don't miss our ad for Jumbo Valley Soccer Camp: Preparing Girls for the Real World Since 1998.
David Plotz is the Washington editor of Slate.com.