What should happen to Elian Gonzalez, the 6-year-old Cuban boat boy? Everyone seems to have an opinion. Who's right? Take the quiz!

1. THE IMMIGRATION AND NATURALIZATION SERVICE. After mulling it over for six weeks, INS officials said that he belongs with his surviving parent--his father in Cuba. They should have:

a) decided within two days that Elian belongs with his father

b) taken as much time as needed to put the question to Florida voters in a special referendum

c) mulled it over for 12 years, by which time Elian would have reached maturity

2. PRESIDENT CLINTON. He said Elian's case, being of an international nature, should be decided by the INS--and that politics should play no role in settling the issue. The president:

a) was right, and should meet personally with Elian at Disney World to hug him and tenderly explain the rationale for his repatriation

b) was right, and should meet personally with Fidel Castro at Disney World to hug him and tenderly explain the rationale for our continued unilateral embargo

c) was right, but should meet with Sylvia Iriondo, fiery spokeswoman for the Cuban American protesters. A hug would be nice, but only if his pollsters approve

3. ATTORNEY GENERAL JANET RENO. She asserted that the INS decision was correct and that a state court judge in Florida, who had granted temporary custody of Elian to his great-uncle, had no jurisdiction. The attorney general:

a) cannot understand Elian's needs until she has a child of her own

b) made the right call, assuming she's in touch with the Pentagon regarding National Guard backup

c) should appoint an independent counsel, damn it!

4. VICE PRESIDENT GORE. He broke with the Clinton administration, arguing that the INS lacked the expertise to decide the case and that it properly belonged in the courts. He should:

a) adopt Elian, bring him along on the campaign trail and challenge Bill Bradley to adopt a Cuban boy, too

b) instruct his motorcade to drive around Nashville blocking traffic

c) make citizenship for Elian a litmus test for prospective Supreme Court justices

5. REP. DAN BURTON (R-IND.). He subpoenaed Elian to appear before his House Government Reform Committee, in order to delay compliance with an INS decision he judged to be rushed. His appropriate next step would be to:

a) introduce a bill to terminate funding for the INS and, at the same time, the rest of the executive branch

b) introduce a bill to triple INS funding, enabling the department to purchase inner tubes and life jackets and sell them at a discount in the Florida Straits

c) subpoena Elian's mother in a crafty bid for further delay

6. SEN. BOB SMITH (R-N.H.). After meeting with Elian, he announced that the 6-year-old boy preferred the United States to Cuba and that the INS had failed to consider the boy's father's alleged consent to his ex-wife's plan to defect with their son. He vowed to do anything in his power to keep Elian in the United States. He now should:

a) introduce a bill to provide Secret Service protection for the boy's father in the event that Smith's allegation about him is publicized in Cuba

b) spend a sabbatical year teaching constitutional law to first-graders

c) come to my house and vigorously defend my 8-month-old daughter's preference for sweet potato over beets

7. ELIZABET BROTON RODRIGUEZ, ELIAN'S MOTHER. She took him with her in a rickety boat that foundered, but helped him survive. She acted:

a) bravely, but should have left Elian with his father when the boat had to return to the Cuban shore for repairs

b) presciently, somehow foreseeing the possibility that Elian's grandmothers would soon be making the journey from Cuba themselves

c) recklessly, neglecting to file a will with the INS delegating Elian's guardianship to Sen. Bob Smith

8. JUAN MIGUEL GONZALEZ, ELIAN'S FATHER. He has asserted custody rights but has refused so far to leave his wife and infant son and come to the United States--perhaps because he is not free to leave Cuba, perhaps because he fears he would be trapped here until the case is over. He:

a) should contact Burton's office and request that his wife and baby be subpoenaed, too

b) fails to grasp that Elian's need to grieve is best fulfilled during Disney World tours and photo-ops with caring politicians

c) cannot, as a member of Cuba's Communist Party, truly love Elian

9. MIAMI-DADE CIRCUIT COURT JUDGE ROSA RODRIGUEZ. She determined that she had limited jurisdiction over Elian's case. She should:

a) attend Sen. Bob Smith's class on constitutional law

10. CUBAN PRESIDENT FIDEL CASTRO. He has harshly criticized the U.S. government's handling of Elian's case. He is:

a) intolerant of political dissent in his own country, but correct on this issue

b) grandstanding, but correct on this issue

c) ambivalent about the case and its repercussions, but hoping Elian will pick up some spare parts for a '57 Chevy before he returns

Jeff Balch, a freelance writer who lives outside Chicago, never did well on multiple choice tests in school.