"I'm proud to say we're leaving the station in excellent condition."

-- Flight engineer John Phillips, quoted last week by the online site

Space.com as he prepared to return to Earth after six months

on the International Space Station. Phillips came back with

American entrepreneur Gregory Olsen, who paid $20 million for a 12-day trip

that ended Tuesday when their Russian Soyuz capsule landed in Kazakhstan.

10/11/05

TO: Space Tourist Gregory Olsen

FROM: International Space Station Guest Services

RE: Cost of Broken & Missing Items During Visit to the International Space Station

1. Missing Towels (4) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $ 100.00

2. Missing Shot Glasses, with ISS Logo (3). . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14.00

3. Cost to Replace Window Broken by Unsecured Ashtray . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 21,250.00

4. Rocket Firing During Attempted ARM (Ashtray Retrieval Maneuver) . . . . . . . . . . . . . .168,567.03

5. Missing Ashtray . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18.00

6. Long-Distance Telephone, Fax and Internet Charges (including wireless router rental) . 3,367.10

7. Mini-Bar (freeze-dried 1999 Pinot Noir) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 84.00

8. Dry Cleaning (wine stain on bathrobe) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 75.00

9. Missing Room Key (electronic keycard with top-secret chip). . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1,000,000.00

10. Toilet Repair:

Cost of plumber . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 368.00

Replacement gasket . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .9.65

Cost to send plumber from Earth . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 500,000,000.00

Total due . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $501,193,862.78

Please make check payable to the International Space Station and include your telephone number. We hope you enjoyed your stay with us. Should you wish to include the ISS in your future travel plans, please be advised that we now require a security deposit.

Charles Pinck is a private investigator for GlobalOptions, a Washington-based company specializing in risk and crisis management for businesses. He can be reached at cpinck@globaloptions.com. His work has not taken him to the International Space Station -- yet.