IN CASE THE TOWN has you down this summer - what with the natural and political humidity - a rundown of the state of affairs in other cities will help put life in perspective.
In Cleveland, for example, Mayor Dennis Kucinich has barely survived a recall vote after seven riotous months in office, during which time the city plummeted toward financial ruin. While awaiting a recount on the recall votes, Mayor Kuncinich hopes to win back the friendship of the city council, whose members he has only referred to as "lunatics," "liars," "fakers" and "buffoons."
Down in Memphis, a city-wide blackout added much to a state of emergency in which more than 200 fires were deliberately set around town. The police accused the striking firemen of setting them. In an unusual show of sportsmanship, the striking firemen did not attribute a spate of recent crimes to the striking policemen.
Over in Louisville, Mayor William Stansbury has been caught taking a clandestine trip to a New Orleans hotel with a beautiful blonde female. At the time, the mayor was supposed to have been in Atlanta attending a conference on affirmative action, but no one seems to regard the New Orleans trip as part of the conference. In any event, the mayor and the woman did arrive in New Orleans in time to witness that city's trash strike.
Out in San Francisco, school children recently celebrated the anniversary of the Great Earthquake and Fire of 1906, while out in Santa Barbara they celebrated the genuine article. San Francisco residents pay no heed to a National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration report that another Great Earthquake is on the way, and the citizens are somewhat cheered by the estimation of Ed Joyce, director of emergency services. "You will have some devastation," says Ed, "but as for total devastation, no way." Finally, there are financial crises in Buffalo, New York and Boston. Not to mention smog in LA and poisoned water in Niagara Falls.
There. Now don't you feel better?