But Mrs. Claus cried and cried, and said, "What's the point of having Christmas if there isn't any snow?" And Rudolph and Snoopy shook their heads sadly, and Heidi said she could not recall a Christmas without snow, and nobody knew what to do. And Dumbo began to shake so hard with sobs that the Muppets and John Denver had to sing "Silent Night" to console him. "Oh, how I wish Santa were here," said Flicka. "Santa is so smart. He'd know what to do."
"Santa won't be here," said Mrs. Claus, her eyes brimming with tears.
"What?" exclaimed Bambi. "Santa not here for Christmas?"
"He doesn't think that children care about Christmas anymore," said Mrs. Claus. "He doesn't know what to do."
"I know," said Raggedy Andy. "Why don't we go ask Peter Rabbit?"
"What does Peter Rabbit have to do with Christmas?" asked Frosty the Snowman. But nobody paid attention, and soon they were all at Peter Rabbit's door, which was answered by Johnny Cash.
"Peter doesn't know what to do either," said Johnny, and he sang "The First Noel."
"That's just great," said Charlie Brown. "There's no snow, no Santa . . . "
"And no presents," Big Bird interjected. "The elves are so upset they can't work."
Maybe we should go ask Superman," suggested Winnie the Pooh, and everybody said a loud "Yes" over Frosty's objection that he couldn't see what Superman had to do with Christmas any more than Peter Rabbit, and that the story was too confusing in any case.
"Oh, pipe down," said the Grinch Who Stole Christmas. "We have to do something, don't we?"
So off they went to Superman's house, and on the way they met Roosevelt Grier, who sang "O Little Town of Bethlehem," and Rosemary Clooney, who sang "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas." But when they arrived at Superman's, there was a note explaining that he had to go help Dorothy and Casper, and telling them to go find Bill Cosby and the Trapp family, who were very sad because they had just learned that there would be no Christmas trees this Christmas, and no mistletoe, either. Then everybody was crying, some in the voice of Charlton Heston and some in the voice of Maureen Stapleton.
"We've got an idea," said the Seven Dwarfs cheerfully. "Let's go ask Leonard Bernstein. He'll know what to do." And before Frosty could utter a word of protest, they all went over to Leonard Bernstein's house, where he was conducting the Vienna Boys Choir in Handel's "Messiah."
"But gosh, Fat Albert," said Leonard when the "Messiah" was finished. "I don't know what to do either."
"That's the trouble with these shows," said Frosty. "Nobody ever knows what to do."
"Oh hush up, Frosty," said Mrs. Claus.
"No. I won't hush up. Every year we go ahead with these insufferably stupid stories. They have no plot. They make no sense. Just a bunch of recognizable characters milling around."
"You could get yourself in a mess of trouble talking that way," said the Grinch, menacingly. "Some of us only work once a year."
"That's right" said Rudolph. "You keep your trap shut, Frosty."
"Have it your way," said Frosty. "But I for one am packing it in. I'm going to tell the networks that I've had it. The rest of you may do as you please."
The Mrs. Claus cried and cried, and Amahl and the Night Visitors cried too, and as Frosty was distracted by their crying, Smokey the Bear crept up from the rear and put a full nelson on him, while all the others punched and kicked Frosty to a pulp by the light of Rudolph's nose. Then Flicka and Heidi dumped the body into the Little Engine That Could and drove it far, far away, so that no one could ever find Frosty again.
"Look!" exclaimed Snoopy. "It's Kenny Rogers." And they all sang "There's No Place Like Home for the Holidays."