Very Merry Christmas to Vivian, Arthur and Hi.
Twas the night before Christmas,
Where in parts of the house
Arthur was snuggling With Vivian, his spouse.
In the guest room lay Herman,
Who, trying to sleep,
Was counting the broads in his life instead of sheep.
On Hilda, on Sigfried, on Jinx, on Raquel,
Brunhilda, Veronica, Gretel, Michelle;
Now Tanya, Rapunzel Electra, Adelle;
Now Suzie, Anita, keep trucking, Giselle.
There were ingenues, dashers, and dancers, and vixens.
I believe there was even one Cuban, on blitzen.
He lay there remembering with a smile broad and deep,
Till he ran out of names and he fell fast asleep.
(Let me mention, my darling, if this muse were inclined,
Towards unseemly thoughts or an off-color mind,
It wouldn't be easy to keep this thing refined.)
But this is the time to be jolly and very upbeat,
And for now that's not hard because Herman's asleep.
Beside him lay Jeannie, headmistress by Jiminy,
Who was waiting for Santa to come down the chiminy.
A huge stocking they'd hung by the hearth those four sinners!
In hopes Saint Nicholas would forgive and they'd all end up winners.
Would he leave them a prize or a well a deserved switch?
And how would they know which switch went to which?
But for now they were snuggled all safe in their beds
While visions of dividends danced in their heads.
Then all of a sudden there came such a clatter,
Herm woke from his sleep to see what was the matter.
And with Jeannie obediently three paces back
They tipped to the living room to watch Nick unpack.
Now let's see, there's Herman, Tarnower for a monicka;
It seems to me he got his best stuff for Chanukka.
I see at the top of his long list of druthers
He wants a handicap one point higher than Arthur's.
But a handicap is something Old Nick can't be cutting;
Herm'll just have to stop gambling on Arthur's great putting.
But here's one little thing that I know he will use:
If his evenings are lonely he'll have no excuse.
Here's some nice new phone numbers in a nice new black book.
(I'm not quite the innocent gent that I look!)
This book holds the key and the hope and the promise.
Of a whole bunch of fun with some new RED HOT MAMAS.
Written at the home of Vivian and Arthur Schulte in Palm Beach.