Sure enough, it develops The Lord had reasons for failing to come last weekend and lift the waiting faithful of the Lighthouse Gospel Tract Foundation into the heavens. The Lord always has His reasons.
It is learned now that The Rapture did not occure because Kenneth Maupin's work on this earth was not yet done. He is the 23-year-old son of Lighthouse prophet Bill Maupin, the man who predicted Rapture hour. Ken had figured his work was done because Bill had told him so.
But what does Bill know? Bill can't even predict a Rapture. And the other day Ken found out that in fact, his work on this earth was not yet done and The Lord had a plan for him.
See, there is this new state lottery out in Arizona. It started up last Wednesday. Thursday, because it was starting to look like he wasn't going anywhere, Ken went down to the store and bought a ticket. And Friday Ken was notified he'd won $10,000. This looked like some kind of plan for sure, the Lighthouse folks allowed, finally deciding it was just as well they weren't lifted into the heavens last weekend.
Rapture is still coming up sooner or later, notwithstanding the initial bad call, and Ken reports that he is busily giving away his money to charity. You can't take it with you.