All right, all right. I step aside as the uncrowned king. Plenty of you have names that are harder to spell correctly than mine.
Take Elizabeth Buie of Silver Spring. They could handle her last name back home in Fayetteville, N.C. But once Elizabeth moved to this area, Bowie Race Course and the huge Prince George's County subdivision by the same name have rendered Buie a true "impossible." Welcome to the club, friend.
Caron Paolino of Woodbridge used to be a "two-fer." No one got either name right. Then she married 2 1/2 years ago and became Caron Rose. Better! Still, Caron says she does get weary of explaining that, yes, she is named for Leslie Caron the actress, and that her full name is actually Leslie Caron Paolino Rose.
Becki Mize of McLean is still a two-fer. That's Becki-with-an-I, if you please, not Becky, Betty, Betsy, Vickie or Bessie. And that's M-I-Z-E, darn it, not Mars, Meyers, Maize or Mizz. Not even Mooz, which is Becki's favorite misspelling -- for now.
But two-fers have nothing on Sari Hendrixson of Harrisonburg. She's a three-fer!
First of all, her given first name is Sarah -- which is never more than a 50-percent proposition, no matter how you slice it.
Then, her nickname is spelled S-A-R-I, but pronounced "SHAH-ree." Common misspellings include Shari, Shorry, Shary, Chari and Sherry.
Finally, her last name is spelled so unusually that "many people can't get it right even if it is spelled for them," Sari writes. Typical blunders are Hendrickson, Hendrixckson, Hendrixon and Hendrickxon.
Sari makes only one request: "Please do me a favor and avoid making any 'Sorry, Sari' jokes. Unfortunately, I have been the butt of a great many, none of which was ever original, much less funny."
One bright note in the miasma of misspellings was sounded by Paul H. Oehser of McLean. "Half a century ago or more, my name had to be scratched in on a ballot when I was running for a college office. My surname was spelled 13 different ways -- but I was elected," he writes.
John J. Orosch of Falls Church claims the prize for Misspellings That Range Furthest Afield -- which I hereby award him, after giggling over his recent postcard.
John's last name has been rendered as:
Oroz, Orasch, Orash, Orosh, O'Rosch, Crosch, Drosch, Ordsch, Onosch, Orusch, Orosk, Orosah, Orouch, Loroche and Orocco.
That's as of late October. But as all "impossibles" know, the future can hold anything. Stay tuned.