Carol Weir, wife of a Presbyterian minister kidnaped in Beirut, said yesterday that, after 10 months of being patient, she is "upset and angry" and convinced that the problem in securing his release is "not in Beirut, not in Damascus but in Washington."

Weir and her son, John, are to meet with Secretary of State George P. Schultz Friday morning. She said they plan to urge him to "get this thing off the back burner, give it high priority and press for the release of my husband."

Weir said that Presbyterian church officials are asking church members to send 1 million post cards to President Reagan on behalf of the Rev. Benjamin Weir and that she plans to visit other states seeking publicity for his cause.

Weir is one of six Americans kidnaped in west Beirut in the last year. The most recent victim, correspondent Terry Anderson of the Associated Press, was seized last week, and one escaped captivity last month.

Weir said she and her son plan to show Shultz two letters written Feb. 15 by her husband to Presbyterian officials. Like other communications from the kidnap victims, they emphasized that the U.S. government must take strong action to secure his release.

Weir and her husband have worked for the church in the Middle East for 30 years. She is on leave from a job as assistant professor of Christian education at the Near East School of Theology in Beirut.

She said she kept a low profile for months, as instructed by U.S. officials. But, after reports that the terrorist group Islamic Jihad had threatened to try the hostages as spies and after the escape of Cable News Network reporter Jeremy Levin last month after 11 months in captivity, she said, "I fell apart."

Levin's wife, a District resident, had mounted an increasingly aggressive publicity campaign on his behalf.

Weir said her assessment of the situation is based on information from friends and contacts in the moderate Shiite Moslem community in Beirut, political sources in Europe and contacts made during two weeks in Damascus immediately after Levin surfaced.

Various such contacts told her that the U.S. government "wasn't doing anything" or that "this isn't a high priority with your government," she said.

But, she added, "There's no profit in my getting the State Department angry at me. I'm dependent on them. I'm only critical to the extent that they're not working up to speed."

She does not expect the United States to "knuckle under" to demands by terrorist kidnapers, she said, but "just to use every diplomatic skill at its disposal . . . . Talk to them."

The administration has maintained a policy of not talking about whatever efforts it may be making to free the five.

Weir was walking with her husband on a Beirut street last May 8, "a few feet from our gate," she recalled, when two young men jumped from a parked car and forced her husband into the car, hitting him on the head when he resisted.