NO POINT tiptoeing around the subject any longer: evidence is mounting that the dinosaurs had the bomb. Surely everyone has by now at least considered the obvious possibility as each new scientific finding is piled on the last. This week we are informed, apropos of the dinosaurs' rather sudden and endlessly puzzling extinction some 65,000,000 years ago, that there seems to have been a worldwide firestorm at the time. There was also, we are told, a huge amount of soot everywhere seeming to come from a very dense cloud. The effect of the cloud and the subsequent darkening of the sky brought on a devastating global "winter." We had already long since heard the theories that the impact of some extraterrestrial object hitting earth had caused this darkening. Does it all begin to hang together?
Well, ask yourself. "The worst hit region," The Post reported in its story about a recent scientific article, "was between the Ural Mountains of central Eurasia (SS-18s, we surmise) and the Rocky Mountains (the Malmstrom missile base, surely) of North America, where 69 percent of known fossil species died out." Whether a prior argument had raged among defense-intellectual dinosaurs concerning the wisdom and/or morality of taking measures to protect some fraction of the population before it became fossils, we don't know.
Our encyclopedia does remind us that the dinosaur race was pretty much divided into two distinct camps: the saurischians (or "lizard-hipped") and the ornithischians ("bird-hipped"). Which ones were first to mirv, it of course does not say. That information, possibly classified, has yet to emerge, but it becomes increasingly clear to us that it is only a matter of time until we know. Our encyclopedia makes the well-known point that "their intelligence, judged by the size of their brain cavities, was uniformly low." Holdouts against our hypothesis and other spoilsports undoubtedly will argue from this that the saurischians and the ornithischians were too dumb to have invented the bomb. But whatever intelligence it may have taken to invent the bomb, surely great orders of magnitude more of stupidity were required to use it to obliterate the whole race. We have an open scientific mind.