Baltimore has pro baseball, Washington doesn't. Now Baltimore has professional slow-pitch softball, Jimmp Carter's game, and Washington doesn't - but they're almost meeting us halfway, Mr. President and Billy C.

Last spring, the nation's capital appeared to have the inside track for franchise in the American Professional Slo-Pitch Softball League being organized for 1977 - but wouldn't you know it, foiled again. Those bayside hustlers took the plunge first and the territory belongs to the Baltimore Monuments in the APSPL with entries from Pittsburgh, Detroit, Cleveland Louisville, etc. etc.

But the Monuments have just signed a contract to play their 28-game (14 doubleheaders) home schedule at Rips Memorial Stadium in Bowie.

So they won't look down their noses at this area, not with Ray Duncan of Silver Spring as manager, and key players already signed including his champion-class D.C.-vicinity amateur stars Janks Morton, George Moraz, Bill Brantley, Fred Rodriquez, Sugar Burleyyout candidates welcomed, at Rips on Rte. 301 on March 26-27, April 2-3; contact Baltimore Monuments, 4355 Ebenezeening date: May 29 vs. Milwaukee. Will a Carter toss out the first ball? . . .

Kevin Porter faced up today's NBA trading deadline without fear (or hope, if underneath the surface he reneed not be concerned that the ax will drop on him this season.

Oscar Geldman, Detrolt Pistons general manager, called a news conference yesterday to declare that everything is hunky-dory on the in-tightin'est 28-21 team in basketball.

Answering critics who have said Brown can't control the team and is in jeopardy of dismissal, and those who speculated that if Brown didn't go, Porter would, Feldman avowed:

"First, the Pistons have no intention of trading anyone . . . Secondly, We had a meeting (Sunday) with Kevin Porter at my home, with Herb Brown and Kevin's agent Bob Fenton . . . We're confident the matter has been put to rest . . . that Kevin will provide the floor leadership he's capable of and, in Herb Brown's words, provide an extension of the coach on the floor . . . Thirdly, we are proposed to offer Herb a contract upon the conclusion of this season for retention of his services."

What about the report that former Bullet sparkplug Porter jumped on after a recent loss in Capital Centre? "He was never on my back," Brown said. "No way did that happen."

All this and happy family member Marvin Barnes scoring 33 points last game. Look out . . .

Another den of basketball turmoil evidently is Allentown, Pa., in the Eastern League, according to guards John Bowie from Bowie State and Archie Talley, last year's NAIA scoring king (Salem College) from Central High. Bowie called Fan Fare not long ago to report he was starting for the Allentown Jets while sidekick Talley had been shunted to Syracuse. Now Talley informs that when Syracuse played Allentown last weekend Bowie was gone.

Bowie had a trip to Israel for his pains, and related how the Jets made the finals of a three-day tournament before losing the title game to maccabee Tel Aviv, Israel's top team, 84-83 - despite 45 points by Bowie. ("Very exciting trip," he continued. "After watching life under the gun - cat sit down next to you on the bus with his M-16 rifle, uh-uh - we learned to appreciate living conditions in the U.S.") Talley complains from snowy Syracuse that "in this league they just play their favorite old dudes (including Bullet alumnus Dennis Du Val - but one night they put me in for five minutes and I got 22, points, so they know what I can do."

Talley, a Knick draftee, was interested to hear that Red Holzman has named Earl Monroe team captain - Walt Frazier begged off because no longer did he want "to act as the team spokesman" with the press and because he felt the team might benefit from having a more aggressive leader to argue with referees. Strange - or is it? - that Holzman made the change as aforementioned trading deadline neared . . .

That other Madison Square Garden team, the NHL Rangers, has made its roaring lion now guards the Ranger cage - or is that just the wild new mask on goalie Gilles Gratton? . . .