Make way for - hold your breath - the Schlitz Parade of Future Champions at the Wednesday Night Fights at the D.C. Armory in the Starplex. And y'all, "Support Your Neighborhood Boxer."

The Armony Board assembled media in RFK Stadium yesterday to unveil (1) the new name and logo for the property at the end of East Capitol Street and (2) plans "to revitalize . . . professional boxing in the Washington Metropolitan Area by presenting a comprehensive program that is innovative free of unscruplous elements."

Credit Betty Underwood, secretary to the Armony Board and administrative assistant to general manager Bob Sigholtz, for coining "Starplex" out of ST as in Stadium, AR as in Armory and PLEX as in complex. Then turn to veteran fight figures Sigholtz, a longtime ring referee, and Willis E. Johnson, Armory Exhibit hall manager who twice served on the U.S. Olympic Boxing Committee, for the boxing renaissance (they hope).

Projected is a tournament limited to local, metro-area hopefuls licensed by the D.C. Boxing Commission but not ranked nationally in the top 3.Four-round bouts, open draw, optimally eight entrants in each weight class; prize money $100 to winners, $50 to losers in first round then $200-$100, and for finalists, $400-$200. Early-round losers will have a chance to come back through the tourney champions. One-time entry fee to each boxer - and here's where the board's upcoming publicity program urging you support your neighborhood favorite perhaps comes in - $80.

That's "one dimension of a two-dimensional" program.The other will present "established boxers" (including these who establish themselves in the first dimension) in a "Showcase of professionals" providing them an avenue to higher-level competition.

First card is tentatively set Nov. 16, with 11 more dates penciled through May 31 . . .

Finally, "young ladies in scantily clad costumes will be used as an attention getter." They said it, we didn't. . .

Now if they'd just change those Southwest Freeway signs that start you toward Starplex, then channel you across the Anacostia. . .