Is a Rutigliano an Italian pastry or the new head coach of the Cleveland Brown?
Will Chuck Knox weep when a foot of new snow forces him to cancel his first training camp practice next July at Niagara University?
Does Mary Levey, fresh from the Canadian League, know the only rouge they talk about in Kansas City is the stuff Lamar Hunt's wife puts on her face?
And, uh, Jack? Yes you, Jack Pardee. You're not really going to lick your fingers, chase spies in the woods and tell us that the preseason opener against the Minnesota Vikings is the biggest game of your life, are you?
We will find out the answers to all of those questions soon enough, perhaps as soon as all our collective heads stop spinning from the whirl of coaching changes that have hit the National Football League.
Why just in the last month alone. The Big Switch has hit nine different teams, three have resigned and been fired, three have resigned and St. Louis Cardinal coach Don Coryell has been barred from his office.
Locksmiths need not apply.
Since 1975, according to the NFL, 24 coaches have been hired by the 28 teams, along with four interim coaches. Of those 24 new men, seven have already departed, either on their own or by a kick in the pants from a cranky owner.
The interims, obviously, went poof in the night and have not been seen or heard from since.
There have been several surprises this season. The shift of Knox from Los Angeles to Buffalo after two years of being rumored to be the new man in Detroit and, of course, the daily soap opera in Washington were the major upsets.
When Pete McCulley, an obscure Redskin assistant, was named head coach of the 49ers, one San Francisco writer batting out Super Bowl stories was heard to exclaim, "Pete Who," when his office called to give him the news.
It is hoped he now knows.
The New Orleans Saints bounced Hank Stram yesterday.
No one knows when the spinning will stop. The Rams are playing footsie with George Allen and Dan Reeves, and Carroll Rosenbloom, the owner, is having a ball.
Jim Finks, the Chicago general manager, is playing "I've Got a Secret" in naming Pardee's successor, and Bill Bidwill, the Cardinal owner, has a key to Coryell's office, but no coach.
It's been that kind of year in the NFL, and it is going to continue. Even now, there is still talk that Bill Johnson had better win next year in Cincinnati, that John McVay must do more in 1978 than just beat the Redskins twice to avoid a Giant mugging in New York.