Somewhere in this town that Elizabeth Ray made famous, a seamstress is adding cloth to cover up what the Redskinettes uncovered two weeks ago.
"Some of the objectionable things that people objected to won't be so objectionable now," said Dick Garrison, the director of the Redskinettes.
"Bottoms," he said yesterday, explaining.
In fearless discharge of my responsibilities as a journalist dedicated to the truth.I have been investigating the Redskinette uniforms. Journalism is hell. I first questioned my wife, who was a RFK the day the Redskinettes unveiled their seminaked reverses.
"Honest, now," I said. "Were the uniforms that bad?"
"I could NOT believe it," she said. "They were scandalous."
The difference between mediocre reporting and good reporting is detail. So, in the interest of good journalism, I asked my wife for more detail, pretty please, about the Redskinette uniforms. "They didn't have any back or any front," she said. "They made the Cowboy cheerleaders look like nuns."
This is the town that Jimmy Carter made safe for lust, the town where Fanne Foxe made a splash in the Tidal Basin. But the Redskinettes were too . . . obvious. So the Redskin president, Edward Bennett Williams, ordered an immediate application of modesty.
Meanwhile, the Redskins tried to explain what happened. They said no one had seen the uniforms until an hour before game time. And what could they do then? Sure, they said, everyone could see the uniforms did'nt . . . fit.Everyone could see, when the backfield was in motion, that the uniforms . . . creeped up. But they had no alternative. The show must go on.
That's what the Redskin said.
But a Redskinette called the sports department the other day to say the Redskins aren't telling the bare truth.
She said there is a coverup of the coverup.
The Redskins brass saw the skimpy uniform, even saw it, modeled, she said.
Not only that, she said, but they saw a second uniform, a modest number that hid navels and left bottoms to the imagination. It also had long sleeves. Given such a choice, the Redskinette said, the brass voted for skin.
Garrison said that wasn't so.
"Not at any one time did we get a uniform all together," he said.
That's what my wife said after seeing the Redskinettes.
So did a friend of mine, who says these uniforms are one more example of men making women look stupid and women loving it.
"It's a matter of role models," she said. "When I was a kid (she is 27), the only role model a girl had was Marilyn Monroe. And here I was with bruises and braces. I knew I wasn't going to be any sexpot. I wanted to be Willie Mays.
"But, now - God, the TV cameramen do nothing but show these cheerleaders jiggling. It's sick. What kind of role model is that? You're watching a football game with these unbelievably skilled men making all this money - and you see these women doing nothing but using their bodies.
"So a girl wants to grow up to be a naked cheerleader or an airhead on 'Three's Company.' Please, please. Let's set up some women who aren't stupid.
"I mean stupid. I went to Baltimore one night, and the Coltettes, or whatever they're called, were out there in short shorts and it was 17 degrees. Hell, you can root for the team, girlie - but get a coat. Is looking sexy in 17 degrees that important?"
We have three ansers to that question.
One comes from Don Meredith, who on the Monday night football telecast, looked at a bouncing cheerleader on camera and told Howard Cosell:
"After all, Howard, we're giving people what they want from football - sex and violence."
Another answer comes from Dick Garrison, the Redskinettes' boss, who heard the noise that filled RFK when the girls pranced about in their almost-uniforms. Garrison said:
"Those certainly weren't boos."
My wife also has an opinion on pro football cheerleaders.
"I hope they all grow up and have daughters who think it's wonderful to dance for lecherous old men," she said.