It's not exactly what you would call scalping, but the folks who buy Super Bowl tickets from Bob Bickel will be paying approximately $3,000 a seat to watch the Steelers and Cowboys at 4 o'clock Sunday.
But there will be other privileges.
Bickel, a Milwaukee attorney-accountant, owns an 83-foot yacht now anchored at Miamarina. He is willing to share the Tulip II with any big spender willing to pay $19,500 to charter the yacht for the weekend.
"For that price," Bickel said today, "you bring six people. We'll pick them up wherever they are in a Lear jet I lease, fly them to Miami and wine them and dine them for three days. They can stay in the harbor or take a cruise, whatever they please. The ticket to the game is included, of course. We have seats on the 40."
Bickel also has a staff of three to serve his guests, including a Cordon Bleu chef who will provide any sort of menu, lobster to beef Wellington.
"The price includes vintage wines served in elegant stemware, and all the whisky you can drink in three days," added Bickel's wife, Bunny.
Bickel said he had several nibbles from prospective customers, including a construction man from Dallas who plans to entertain a few clients if he can talk his wife into spending the money.
Police have been trying to crack down on blatant ticket scalping, but with little apparent success.
What many are describing as the toughest ticket to get in the history of the Super Bowl has jacked up black-market prices to as high as $300 a seat.
A bellhop at press headquarters at the Americana in Miami Beach spotted a typewriter as he escorted a reporter and his luggage to a room early in the week and asked if he had a seat in the press box.
"Listen, I can get you $300 for that press pass," the bellhop said. "Watch it on TV, write your story and nobody'll know the difference."
As usual, many miles separate the participating teams and the 1,600 media men assigned to cover the game.
The Steelers, befitting their beer-and-a-shot blue-collar image, are headquartered at the Miami Marriott near the airport. The hotel is nice enough, but the noise from incoming jets is not. The hotel is miles from the beach or shops, and Steeler wives reportedly are not happy.
The Cowboy entourage has rented 250 of the 300 rooms at the posh Bahia Mar Hotel overlooking a yacht club in Fort Lauderdale. The ocean is a walk across the street. Cowboy ladies can spent their husbands' Super Bowl checks in swanky shops next door.
The Cowboys also have brought down their entire front-office staff for a working week. The staff helps players and coaches with show tickets, babysitters, transportation and dinner reservations. One mimeographed sheet provides directions on how to make the hotel elevators go faster.
The Super Bowl is usually a week of wretched excess, particularly at party time.
Carrie Rozelle, Commissioner Pete's wife, says she and her husband will make appearances at no less than 16 parties before Sunday's kickoff.
The big bash, an intimate gathering of 4,000 put on by the NFL, will take place Friday night at the satellite terminal of Miami International Airport, with a Bahamian theme that includes 400 palm trees on the inside, stocked with parrots and cockatoos.
The league is spending $100,000 to entertain on a lavish scale. Cooks are preparing 2,000 lobsters, 1,000 pounds of chicken breasts, 1,000 pounds of ribs, 600 pounds of lamb, 500 pounds of grouper and mounds of mango mousse for the masses.
"Honestly, I don't understand cynics who are getting sarcastic about all of this," Carrie Rozelle told the Miami Herald. "They don't stop to consider all the money this brings to a city. What about the waiters who are working overtime and double time? They, in turn, may now be able to pay for some surgery a child might need."
They may even earn enough to buy a ticket to the game.
Miami city officials estimate the Super Bowl is worth $50 million to the area, with 62,000 out-of-towners coming in for the game, averaging about $200 in spending for every day they stay.
Some accommodations are still available, although the city's top hotels and resorts have been booked for months. One enterprising doctor rented his two-bedroom apartment to seven "friends" from New York at $150 a night. For a commission, he's also lined up the apartments of 14 other friends at the same rate. Medicaid was never like this.
Redskin quarterback Billy Kilmer is staying at his Fort Lauderdale home this week, but says he won't be going to the game because all his friends have taken his tickets.
He will be at Gulfstream Park Saturday to watch the $50,000 Super Bowl Handicap. Last week, Kilmer and a friend, owner-trainer Larry Perkins, purchased Raymond Earl, a 4-year-old colt that earned more than $100,000 last year.
Informed sources say there is no truth to the rumor that Raymond Earl will limp into the starting gate for the Super Bowl Handicap and decline interviews after the race.
Steeler quarterback Terry Bradshaw said he woke at 5:30 a.m. today thinking about Kilmer.
"It was like a dream and Kilmer was at a horse barn," said Bradshaw. "Then I went to breakfast and Kilmer showed up. I didn't even know he was in town. I told him he looked so young."
Quotes of the week:
Bradshaw, to a dozen writers: "I always shoot straight with you guys, but I try to avoid issues."
Cowboy Thomas Henderson: "I am in a class of my own. Nobody can shut me up or shut me down."
Bob Breunig, to Cowboy teammate Larry Cole: "I hate to ask you this, but could you come on my radio show tonight?"
Most fans: "Which way to the a) bar, b) beach, c) bank, d) all of the above?"
The phones have been jangling at the Rent-a-Bird escort service this week, according to part-owner Lynn Temple, a former Washingtonian who says she went to Western High.
"No, we do not do massages," Temple said rather indignantly. "We are a legitimate enterprise, in business for 12 years. We've even been on the Phil Donahue Show.
"The girls work on independent rates. Our charge is $55 for up to five hours, not including the tip. For 24 hours, it would be $150. The girls escort you shopping, for dinner, to the theater.
"If they go back to the hotel, that's their business. We certainly don't condone it.This is a high-class outfit."
Not everyone thinks the game is super. Questioned by an Associated Press reporter on a bench along the beach, Reuben London, 69, and his 74-year-old brother-in-law, Sol Glassman, said they weren't interested in the game.
"I don't follow football," said London.
"I like culture," said Glassman.
Kilmer likes the Cowboys, "especially if they're getting 3 1/2 points."
So does Henderson, The Story at this affair.
"I feel our offense is capable of scoring 31 points," he said, "and as a defensive player, I'm always thinking goose egg."
One more prediction, from our friendly yacht skipper, Bob Dickel. "Next year, we hope to have two or three boats. When the game gets back to Miami again (possibly in 1981), it'll probably cost $25,000."