That man, Rex Caldwell, showed up again today in a major tournament, shooting a 66 in the Masters, making birdies from the trees and rockin' and rollin' with the flat stick.
Last year, "Sexy Rexy," the Barry Manilow clone and Fuzzy Zoeller's best buddy, led the PGA after a third-round 66. He used that platform to talk his brand of pub-link-gold jive and bad-mouth a few of the wealthy young carbon-copy pros who shun his self-taught, iconoclastic ilk.
It was bad enough last year when Zoeller, who never even had seen sacred Augusta National, chain-smoked his way around Bobby Jones' shrine in 279 casual blows and walked away with a green coat. "Strategy?" said Zoeller. "Oh, I let my caddie do all the thinkin'."
Today, it was Caldwell, 29, who never before has played in the Masters or won a pro tournament, who had the low score of the second round and moved into a second-place tie with David Graham at 139, four shots behind Seve Ballesteros.
"I just got to crusin' around, rockin' and rollin' with the flat stick," said Caldwell. "I was putting so good that I could have shot zero today . . . I was runnin' to get to the next green. I could not wait to hurry up and roll another one in."
As is his wont, Caldwell, who came on tour with "a swing that was a crock" and who still doesn't have one that's much better, had to do some fierce improvisation to keep his hot round going.
At the fourth hole -- toughest on the course for stroke average -- he rolled in a 50-footer for birdie.
At the seventh, "things didn't look real sweet. I drove it behind one of those famous trees. I took a nine-iron, dead-opened the blade and hit the stick on the fly, and fell down 10 feet away.
"I couldn't do that shot again if I dropped down a whole shag bag full of balls," Caldwell said.
After a par-saving chip-and-putt at 10, and a 20-foot downhill birdie at 12, Caldwell chipped in for birdie at the 14th from 15 yards short of the green.
"I'll remember that one a while," he said. "I had to creep it over a knob, then stop it going downhill. If it hadn't hit the stick and dropped, it would have gone 20 feet by."
Caldwell, a fine tactical player with the courage of a man who can't swing the same twice in a row, laughed his way around all day, following Zoeller's advice to "just fire the ball. This course just ain't that tough."
"I was awed the first day," Caldwell admitted. "If you're not awed when you come to the Masters, you might as well get a job. Or check your pulse to see if you're still alive.
"This is the top. I've dreamed about this since I was 14. Everything else in life -- I mean everything else -- is underneath this, 'cause this is the top."
On the other hand, Zoeller, at 142, and Caldwell think there is plenty of room at the top. They subscribe to the Lee Trevino theory that if it weren't for Masters jitters, everybody would shoot Augusta National's eyes out.
Caldwell, who won $96,000 last year, said, "I've turned my program around 360 degrees in the last three years." Of course, he probably means 180 degrees, since 360 would just put him back where he started. Never mind. The only time Caldwell's math is good is when he is counting the money he just won on the side bet.
"I could go for a big number (bad score) tomorrow," said Caldwell, who ended up third at the PGA. "But I like my position. Nobody's as loose as Fuzzy, but I try.
"I'm going to have a good time. And I may fool everybody."