For Sunday's Baltimore Memorial Stadium date with the Cardinals, owner Bob Irsay says he'll rest on his laurels; will call no plays, order no substitutions, for his 1-10 Colts from upstairs.

And, shucks, Irsay tells the Baltimore Evening Sun, "(at Philadelphia) I did it just for a minute or two. Then after the touchdown, I shut up." It was a Bert Jones-Zach Dixon hookup, and Irsay modestly 'fesses, "Yes, it was my play . . ."

Now, while defending his right to inject himself Al Davis style into team nitty-gritty -- Irsay says, "I haven't told Mike (Coach McCormack) a thing this week. And I'm not going to . . . If I tell him something and we lose, it's my fault. So I'm just shutting up" . . .

The Toronto Blue Jays, fortified at third base with old Aurelio Rodriguez, have opened a 10-day window of opportunity for the Boston Celtics to court .179-hitting Danny Ainge.

The Jays, with court-upheld multiyear sway over the basketball all-America currently marking time by helping coach alma mater BYU, demand $1 million compensation and insist the Celtics have only till month's end to negotiate with the player. Okay, Celtic boss Red Auerbach tells The Post's Steve Hershey: "I would say we'll be talking to Danny a lot of times."

Ainge's agent: "We're asking for more money than we did two months ago" . . .

Paul Westhead, cleaning out his L.A. Laker desk, said he had no inkling his job was in jeopardy before Jerry Buss abruptly followed up Magic Johnson's beef with the ax.

Leaving behind a five-game winning streak, Westhead said, "I have no grudge against anyone." Buss, he said, "did not indicate to me he was disappointed that we were not running as much, but (anyway) I was encouraging the team to run more." Can anyone coach multiyear-contracted, multimillion-dollar talent? "Well, I thought I could. I thought I was."

Johnson, "looking forward" to playing for Pat Riley and Jerry West: "Nothing has changed, only the fact that I'm just here to play ball . . . as hard as I can. I just want to get going again."

Rep. Ronald M. Mottl (D-Ohio) has introduced his bill to deter excessive violence in pro sports. It would require all major leagues to establish arbitration boards to mandate penalties against such . . .

Shame, Pete Axthelm, a fellow journalist picking Captain Airwaves' day off to sign a renewal as NBC Sports' special commentator . . . Blessings, WTOP sports-talker Phil Wood and Diane Patricia Oklota, marrying 2:30 today, Annandale United Methodist Church . . . Congrats, Redskin Tony Peters and wife Jewell, on No. 4 child, a boy, arrived Thursday at Fairfax Hospital.

A. Redskin Dexter Manley had a Cowboy game a week the past few autumns -- as an Oklahoma State Cowboy -- but seriously, folks, No. 17 Dallas game as Redskins is at hand for George Starke and Brad Dusek, each having missed one on injured reserve. And No. 18 for Joe Lavender (six as Eagle, 12 as Redskin) and Mark Moseley (two for Philly, 16 for Washington) . . . Q. Where do ex-Maryland football stars Vince Kinney, Frank Russell, Brad Carr, Leroy Hughes and Louis Carter now star in football?