In trying to juggle a busy social schedule, I generally have time to watch television only while I'm awake. I do see enough, however, to provide for you a look at some sports television highlights of recent weeks.

Best Local Production: "Championship With Glenn Brenner," WDVM-TV's special preceding the Louisville-Duke NCAA basketball title game, in which the Channel 9 sportscaster and staff did interviews with John Thompson, Jim Valvano, John Wooden, Billy Packer, Bill Walton, Bill Bradley and Michael Graham.

He May Have Moved to Motown, But He's Still Dialing D.C.: Former WTTG-TV-5 sportscaster Bernie Smilovitz, now at WDIV-TV in Detroit, still does daily reports for WASH Radio here.

As Chuck Thompson Would Say, The Place to Be Is Someplace Else: For the second straight year, the Orioles are bombarding our TVs and radios with the audaciously abhorrent, atrociously awful "Come to Birdland" theme, the marketing campaign that puts Memorial Stadium somewhere in the Caribbean.

This Might Not Excite You, But Think About Flipper and His Friends: The newly formed Seattle-based Water Sports Network plans to produce and syndicate water recreation and sports programming to independent TV stations.

Al McGuire, When He's Very Good: The NBC basketball analyst, after watching a scuffle break out among Georgetown and De Paul players, said, "I was a bartender for five or six years. Let me tell you something: When a guy takes off his coat, he's not going to fight. When a guy takes off his wristwatch, watch out!"

Al McGuire, When He's Very Bad: The NBC basketball analyst, after a network promo for the Livingstone Bramble-Tyrone (Butterfly) Crawley fight, said, "What happened to names like Butch and Rocky? Butterfly seems more like somebody living in San Francisco."

Why Good Broadcasters Lose Credibility When They Shill for the Home Team: During halftime of a late-season Bullets-Boston game on WDCA-TV-20, play-by-play announcer Mel Proctor interviewed the Bullets' director of marketing, Tom Ward, who spent several minutes detailing upcoming promotions and imploring area fans to come to the Rockets game the following night because the recently injured Ralph Sampson would be playing. Sampson did not play against the Bullets.

Home Team Sports, On the Ball: After goalie Bill Smith was ejected from a game against the Capitals, the regional cable network had him on between periods, taking calls from irate fans in what turned into a pleasant public lynching of the unpopular Islanders veteran.

Home Team Sports, Missing the Puck: During the next-to-last regular season game against the Rangers, the usually reliable Mike Fornes and Al Koken repeatedly misstated the Capitals' chances of finishing in first place in the Patrick Division.

The Best Reason to Watch Baseball Games on the Radio: Orioles play-by-play broadcaster Jon Miller

The World Would Be a Safer Place If the Knicks Made the Playoffs: When the Knicks don't make the playoffs, Coach Hubie Brown becomes an analyst for CBS' NBA postseason coverage.

Funny & Fascinating (Not to Be Confused With Serious & Substantive, Which Barely Exists Anymore on Local TV): Glenn Brenner's "Weenie of the Week" award, given to the person or persons demonstrating poor sportsmanship; George Michael's plays of the month on his Sunday night "Sports Machine."

A Few Thousand Duke Alumni and Your Bookie Might Disagree: CBS' Brent Musburger, after Louisville won the NCAA basketball title, said, "I don't really think there was a loser in this game."

If He Wasn't So Honest, He Wouldn't Be So Easy to Like: Islanders goalie Bill Smith, asked by HTS' Jeff Rimer about injuries to Capitals stars Mike Gartner and Bengt Gustafsson, said, "You hate to see anybody get hurt, but if anybody has to get hurt, you'd rather see the good players get hurt than just the average players, because those two guys have been killing us every game."

'Okay, Bob, Switch to Camera 4, and Let's Stay With That Closeup of the Squirming Worm': The Nashville Network will televise highlights of the MegaBucks angling tournament in which, for the first time, "a specially devised course will be used, making bass fishing easier to view and more of a spectator sport."