Let's face it: We never can watch as much sports television as we would like. But with a slice of old-fashioned American ingenuity, I've just increased my viewing capabilities.
I have constructed a TV stand -- like the ones you see hanging over bars -- peering down from above my bathtub. And I hooked up a unique wireless remote, with the hot-water tap controlling VHF stations and the cold-water tap for UHF channel-switching. The system is not cable-ready, though, and I haven't figured out a way to keep my glasses from steaming up as I shower.
From what I can see and hear, there's a lot to talk about recently in the world of sports broadcasting: At Least We Saw the First 26 Miles and 250 Yards: In its three-hour coverage of the New York City Marathon Nov. 1 -- featuring seven broadcasters and 25 cameras -- ABC Sports failed to show the winner crossing the finish line. ABC did not apologize to viewers for missing the finish and did not show a replay of Ibrahim Hussein crossing the line. The Announcer Who Attacked America, or Why Is This Woman Being Beamed Into Our Homes: Missy Kane, after terrorizing viewers as an analyst of the world track and field championships on NBC in September, resurfaced in Washington Nov. 8 on WTTG-TV-5's coverage of the Marine Corps Marathon. (On a more positive note, Channel 5 showed the winners crossing the finish line.) And We Thought He Could Only Do Boxing, Basketball, Hockey and Football Well: During NBC's Dolphins-Jets telecast from Giants Stadium, Marv Albert did a wonderfully scintillating play-by-play call of a squirrel running into the end zone. There was a replay, of course. All Three Fellows Do Agree, However, That the Game Was Scoreless When It Began: When the Milwaukee Bucks beat the Washington Bullets Nov. 10, WUSA-TV-9 sportscaster Glenn Brenner reported the score to be 116-110, WJLA-TV-7's Frank Herzog said it was 115-110 and WRC-TV-4's George Michael had it at 115-100. Michael was correct. "No, Ahmad, It's Brent Musburger's Chair That We Stole From CBS So He Would Have to Stand All During 'The NFL Today' ": As an "NFL Live" halftime report went to commercial on NBC Nov. 1, commentator Ahmad Rashad looked disturbed and asked, "Is this my chair?" You Won't Find Him Making These Mistakes With Pro Wrestling: While showing highlights of relief pitcher Don Robinson's game-winning home run to clinch the National League West title for the San Francisco Giants, WRC-TV-4's George Michael expressed shock at Robinson's homer and referred to him as "a pitcher who can't hit" and as "a notoriously terrible hitter." Robinson entered the season with the highest batting average (.267) among active pitchers with 50 or more hits, with six homers and 44 RBI in 359 at-bats. An Idea Whose Time Has Come: NBC's use of a split screen to show two games at the same time. An Idea Whose Time Should Never Come: ESPN's X/O Cam proves that TV technology in the wrong hands can be a very dangerous and confusing thing. "Live, From New York City, It's Brian Bosworth, It's Brian Bosworth, It's Brian Bosworth, It's Brian Bosworth, It's Brian Bosworth, It's Brian . . .": When his Seattle Seahawks came to New York to play the Jets, rookie linebacker/media provocateur Brian Bosworth did exclusive interviews with ABC, NBC, CBS and ESPN. Memo to George Michael -- This Show Might Be a Replacement Part for the "Sports Machine": Kudos to ESPN for their wonderfully complete "NFL PrimeTime," the one-hour wrapup program Sundays at 7 p.m. with highlights of every NFL game. And We'll Have More News Right After These Self-Promoting Stories on ABC Sports Programming: In a recent eight-day period, ABC's "World News Tonight" featured a segment on the Washington, D.C. International horse race (to be carried by ABC later in the week); a segment on the New York City Marathon (to be carried by ABC two days later), and a segment on Heisman Trophy contenders highlighting Big Ten and Pac-10 candidates (whose games are carried by ABC). And If the Horse Were Mister Ed, George Could've Taken the Day Off: During the Nov. 11 snow, WRC-TV-4's George Michael convinced the station to send a truck out to his Comus, Md., home for him to do the 5 p.m. and 6 p.m. sportscasts. The station did, and Michael did the sportscasts live, from his stable, atop a horse named Classy. It wasn't easy. "I couldn't get her to hold still, she kept bucking because of all of the lights," Michael said.