A list of 16 suggestions to make Super Sunday more enjoyable:
Skip the pregame festivities.
Watch on a portable TV outside of RFK Stadium so you can be first in line to buy 1988 exhibition-season tickets after the game is over.
Skip the halftime festivities.
If Frank Gifford says it's "a hard-hitting game" more than once, turn the sound down.
Skip the postgame festivities.
Divide your annual salary into $675,000 to figure out how many years you would have to work to pay for a 30-second Super Bowl advertisement.
If you're taping the game for posterity, take the ultimate remote-control challenge: try to blip out all the commercials and all the time between plays.
Turn the sound off and do the play-by-play and analysis yourself.
Invite John Riggins and John Madden over to watch with you. Tell them to bring the beer and cigars.
Rent "Body Heat" from the video store in case the game becomes the usual Super Bowl rout.
Cook a nice Hungarian braised pork stew with a side dish of baked acorn squash and a raspberry-cream bombe dessert to eat during the game. That's the "in" Super Bowl viewing cuisine this year.
Set up two TVs side by side -- one color, one black and white -- to get a better idea of how today's modern-day game might compare to 1950s-era NFL football.
Buy some Magic Markers and some Saran Wrap to put on your TV screen so that you can diagram plays on your very own living-room telestrator. (Extreme caution is advised. Do not attempt to draw directly onto your TV screen without protection.)
Rent your own blimp and throw a Super Bowl party from above the Washington Monument.
Call the White House right after the game ends to keep President Reagan's line busy so that he can't phone the winning locker room.
Skip the game.