This is the perfect way to return to work after two weeks off. Good morning, Rob Crolius of Fairfax. Take a swig of coffee. Say hello to your office mates. Hang up your coat. Now pick a place to have a sumptuous lunch. While you were wherever-you-were, you won Levey's June neologism contest.
Back on June 29, I chose Rob as the winner of our monthly think-up-a-word exercise. I immediately called his office to deliver the good tidings. Sorry, said whoever answered the phone. Rob is on vacation until July 9.
So what better day to give Rob the news than the day he returns? And what better answer than the one he supplied?
The June challenge was:
You're driving on the outer loop of the Beltway at rush hour. Incredibly, no tractor-trailer has jackknifed this morning, so you're sailing along at 55 (or better). But the inner loop is dead-stopped for miles by something or other. That feeling of superiority you get as you zip past your frustrated, stalled fellow commuters is called . . . .
Rob's winning answer:
The same answer was submitted by Willie Wright, but it arrived two days after Rob's. Please try again, Brother Wright. Next time might be the charm.
I'll be calling our winner today to arrange his victory lunch. In the meantime, congratulations to Rob. He obviously owns a thinking cap, and he obviously knows how to wear it.
Same goes for these entrants, and their near-winners:
Looperiority: Last month's champ, Jeffrey A. Miller of Brookeville, followed by a cast of thousands.
Carrogance: John J. Crowley of Falls Church and former champ Judy Stainer of Columbia.
Brag Racing: Leonard Greenberg of Reston and Hank Wallace of Northwest.
Cardescension: Marc and Paula Rehr of Gaithersburg.
Belticosity: Posy Jim of Latrobe, Pa.
Gloatyus Maximus: Neil Shawen of Falls Church and Jan E. Vinicombe of Northwest.
Ziperiority: Marta Howerton of Bowie, Ruth M. Eshmont of Chantilly and Bernie Adams of Gaithersburg.
Carcissism: Mary R. Oleson of Chevy Chase and Terry Bouma of Columbia.
Slow-Gloating: Peggy Morrissette of Brandywine.
Speeduppitiness: Bobbie Sandrin of Derwood, Md.
Freewaving: Ed Magin of Silver Spring.
Mach-chismo: Bill Joy of Derwood.
Caronary Bypass: Anne J. Cralle of Northwest.
Serendzipity: Linda Spar of Columbia, Lawrence E. Perry Jr. of Northwest, Nan Terpak of Fairfax and William Pepper of Bethesda.
Highway Snobbery: Trudie Cushing of Bethesda, Gordon Livingston of Columbia and Jan Hurst of Centreville.
Looptopia: Kim S. Grosscope of Charlottesville.
Bypass Surge-ery: Ellen Gold of Rockville.
One Loopsmanship: Vicki Cozad of Silver Spring.
Exsightation: Buffy Beaudoin of she-didn't-say-where.
Hubreeze: Steven C. Myers of College Park.
Gloatcomotion: Lori Kassoff of Columbia.
Grinlock: Bobbie Liegus of Alexandria.
Laugh in the Fast Lane: Sandy Irving of College Park.
Jubeltation: Beth J. Merlino of Brentwood.
Egolania: Shelley Clark of Southeast.
Igotripping: M. Lee Bragg of Chevy Chase.
Flybytis: Joe Crimmins of Annandale.
Accelebration: Sandra Hull of Alexandria.
And Swagoneering: Enid M. France of Alexandria.
Very sharp, troops. Let's see who's sharp enough to walk off with the July contest. The July challenge:
When a fat man sits down, his belly pushes against the lower part of his shirt. The result: a little gap develops between the two lowest buttons, providing the world with a wonderful view of the man's midriff bulge (and occasionally, of his belly button too). This peephole between the buttons is called a . . . .
First prize will add to your bulge: a free lunch at a restaurant of the winner's choice in the Washington area (or reasonably close). Levey will come along to pick up the check. Alas, his bulge will come along too. Peeking through his buttons is not allowed.
Rules: You may enter as often as you like, on one piece of paper or many. Each piece of paper must bear a daytime and an evening phone number. All entries become my property. Entries will not be accepted by phone or returned. In case of duplicate entries, the one postmarked earliest wins.
Please mail entries to Bob Levey, The Washington Post, Washington, D.C. 20071. Entries for the July contest must be received by July 31.