Well, I guess I should hold off on inviting Ryan Church to my next Passover seder, huh? "No soup for you, Ryan. It's matzoh ball. Hahaha."
I guess his ex-girlfriend should have seen the breakup coming when Ryan phoned and canceled dinner and a movie. "Sorry, honey, it just won't work out. You're looking at eternal damnation, and I've gotta take some extra BP."
I'm one of those people Ryan thinks is "doomed." I won't have salvation. Of course, wherever I wind up, I'll be joined by Paul Simon, Bob Dylan, Billy Crystal and Whoopi Goldberg, so at least I'll have some restaurant quality entertainment to console me. (She's not? You're kidding? Goldberg?)
It's great to read that the Nats' in-house chaplain takes the view that not all of us are getting aboard the love train. Of course, if I was the manager, I'd want to ride wherever Sandy Koufax was going.
And it was great to read that Ryan Church "sincerely regrets" if any quote attributed to him "offended anyone." Well, how about Jewish fans who buy tickets to Nats games and cheer for him? You think they might be offended? How about the baseball commissioner?
I'm not a history teacher, but I believe one of the founding principles of this country was religious tolerance. And no city in the United States should be as tolerant as its capital, Washington, D.C., where Mr. Church makes his living. I don't consider him doomed for his beliefs. (Nah, what doomed the Nats was lack of run production and pitching problems late.) So I propose this: The Jewish New Year, Rosh Hashanah, is coming up soon. Maybe Ryan can go to temple and learn a little bit about people he has written off.