Giants 36, Redskins 0
It did seem like the Redskins, as well as they've played lately, were due for a stinker, but this one stunk worse than a dinner theater production of "Gigli: The Musical." Not to say Washington's offense was ineffective, but at halftime it had been out-gained by Jimmy Hoffa.
Broncos 49, Eagles 21
The Broncos were threatening to squander what had been a 28-point lead before wide receiver Todd Devoe helped salt things away with a 44-yard touchdown catch. Devoe sure whipped the Eagles good on that play, but it's easy to picture him turning out to be a one-hit wonder.
Bengals 21, Packers 14
This isn't the first season that Cincinnati, which recorded its third five-interception performance of the year, has given opponents reason to think twice about passing the ball. It's just that in the past, opponents always took such big leads, it simply wasn't sporting to do so. Now the Bengals' defense has turned into a turnover machine the likes of which haven't been seen since Vinny Testaverde in his prime.
Bears 19, Lions 13 (OT)
An ill-advised Jeff Garcia throw led to a Chicago win. Certain factions are now pressuring Coach Steve Mariucci to withdraw his nomination of Garcia as starting quarterback on grounds that Garcia isn't conservative enough.
Raiders 34, Titans 25
A gimpy Randy Moss was used mostly as a decoy, which reminds me how amused I get when I see signs on I-95 for the "Decoy Museum." I always picture tourists taking that exit and finding an empty building, while savvy locals go to the real museum a couple of miles farther up the road. And I bet Moss is amused by that every time he drives up I-95, too.
Texans 19, Browns 16
Texans win! Texans win! Looks like Houston can throw that ticker-tape parade after all. Although Cleveland wound up with a significant edge in yardage, Houston had one more turnover and, most importantly, never let Brad Lidge get into the game.
Cowboys 34, Cardinals 13
With a 55-28-1 advantage in their series, the Cowboys can say they 'own' the Cards. Of course, Arizona fans would happily accept the Cowboys as team owners if it meant the Bidwells weren't.
Rams 24, Jaguars 21
St. Louis interim coach Joe Vitt inspired his team with a pregame screening of "Gladiator." By the time the Rams were done, Jacksonville felt like it had been beaned in the head with a phone.
Panthers 38, Vikings 13
After lighting up cornerback Fred Smoot during the game, Steve Smith referred to him as "Whatchamacallit" afterwards. Not to second-guess, but if one is to liken the defensively-challenged Smoot to a Hershey's bar, wouldn't "Skor" be more appropriate?
Dolphins 21, Saints 6
Miami's Ronnie Brown and Ricky Williams combined to rush for 188 yards, but calling them a "Thunder and Lightning" backfield doesn't seem quite right. Brown can certainly pack a wallop, but with Ricky involved, "Thunder and Lighting" sounds a bit more accurate.
Chargers 28, Chiefs 20
LaDainian Tomlinson threw for his third touchdown in as many attempts this season. Even a Google option isn't as money-in-the-bank as San Diego's halfback option.
49ers 15, Buccaneers 10
On the heels of field goal fests in Houston, Detroit and the Meadowlands, this game provided further evidence that some teams are finding the end zone harder to get into than Gerardo's acoustic work.
Patriots 21, Bills 16
According to the Patriots' PR staff, Coach Bill Belichick's defensive game plan from the Giants' Super Bowl XXV win over Buffalo is on permanent display at the Pro Football Hall of Fame. There, people can see the instructions for the ingenious scheme Belichick concocted: "Create a Scott Norwood puppet; jab it with an ice pick as necessary."
-- Desmond Bieler