You might -- just might -- have heard about a certain pair of Panthers cheerleaders, who entered a bathroom stall at a Tampa bar and emerged into the national spotlight after they were arrested on various charges, including disorderly conduct, resisting arrest and giving police false identification. Naturally, we here at NFL Gameday hate to see cheerleaders bring such embarrassment to the good name of the Carolina Panthers, and since we never tire of offering people our invaluable advice, here are our suggestions on how other teams' cheerleaders can do something positive for their squads:
Cardinals: Sit in the stands, so it looks like there are actually people attending the game.
Eagles: Hold a bake sale to raise money to buy Terrell Owens a clue.
Patriots: Keep fire extinguishers handy to douse their oft-torched defensive backs.
Vikings: Just staying out of the news should suffice.
Broncos: Grab Jake Plummer after the pregame meal and pull chunks of food out of his beard.
Rams: Make themselves available to take Mike Martz's cell-phone calls.
Texans: Continue to masterfully give the impression that they are excited about the Texans.
Packers: Simply form a cheerleading unit for this team, which doesn't have one but could sure use it.
Jets: Same as above, with the added condition that the unit must be known as "The Jetettes."
Cowboys: Do whatever it takes to regain the status of the NFL's most famous cheerleaders. And we do mean, whatever it takes.