Keep that champagne in the cooler, Zonk. Don't pop that cork yet, Mercury. You '72 Dolphins are about to have company. The Colts are going to go unbeaten. (Oy, is this killing Boogie and Shrevie!)

Granted, the Colts, who've spent the last few Januaries gagging in New England, were suspect even as they piled up a 7-0 start, since the teams they beat were snails. (Combined record now: 26-51.)

The believability factor kicked in after Games 8 and 10, when the Colts went on the road and slammed their nemesis, the Patriots, then went to Cincinnati and sprinted past the Bengals in a track meet.

The Colts added the exclamation point on their first play of Monday, when Peyton Manning and Marvin Harrison connected on an 80-yard rocket against the Steelers. That game was done so early even I could watch it.

Read my lips: It's over now. The Colts will run the table.

Oh, please, Tony, you said that about the Redskins three weeks ago, and all they've done since then is lose. Don't you ever get tired of being an idiot?

Book it, Dano. Tennessee. Win. At Jacksonville, with Byron Leftwich out and Lt. Gerard from "The Fugitive" in. Win. San Diego. Hello, the game is in Indianapolis. Win. At Seattle, an overrated fraud that couldn't stop Eli Manning, so how will it stop Peyton Manning? Win. Arizona. Are you kidding me? Archie Manning could win that game. That's 16-0. Finally, we can stop having to watch those fat, smug, old Dolphins drink their cheap champagne. Putting an end to that annual bar crawl will be worth celebrating.

One other practice we need to end is what this dope, Christopher Noteboom, did Sunday. He ran onto the field during the Eagles game, claiming he was throwing his mother's ashes on the field. If you let people drop ashes on sports shrines, Derek Jeter will be up to his keister in grandmas! Worse, Wilbon and I will be coughing our way through "PTI."

Peyton Manning and the Colts will go 16-0, and the '72 Dolphins' annual toast will go pop.