We have convened this meeting to discuss the enigma that is Poosh, Kourtney Kardashian’s new lifestyle website — or at least, that’s how everyone else has described it. Kourtney would likely refer to it as “a curated experience and a destination for modern living,” or “the modern guide to living your best life.”
Why “Poosh,” you ask? The website WWD states that this is not at all a misspelling of the word “posh,” but a nickname Kourtney uses for her young daughter, Penelope. Another theory could be that she took a cue from other websites (e.g. Goop, Google) that successfully made use of double O’s, which require you to form a perfect pout with your lips every time you say the name. Kardashians love to pout.
Poosh actually has a lot in common with Goop, as both are rather tone-deaf lifestyle sites created by unbelievably wealthy women. Gwyneth Paltrow seems aware of how ridiculous her vaginal jade egg-peddling site can be — she appeared in a “Saturday Night Live” sketch parodying Goop, after all — but Poosh is still in its infancy and, therefore, earnest in its vague messaging: “We’re not about preaching or judging, we’re about exploring and conversing,” the mission statement reads. “This isn’t a monologue, it’s a dialogue.”
The dialogue concerns a lifestyle that Kourtney somewhat questionably believes is achievable for all. The site was inspired by “people” asking her “constantly” about how she balances being a single mom with working full time and keeping up a social life, she wrote in a note that fails to mention the bucket loads of money that help her maintain that balance. On the site, she recommends purchasing $300 flatware sets and $375 kitchen canisters.
Perhaps we’re being unfair. Did anyone really expect a Kardashian’s lifestyle to be practical for the everywoman? As actress Jameela Jamil has frequently pointed out, reality television’s royal family gets plenty of outside help (like a guy named Coach Joe) to look and feel the way they do. Plus, it’s amusing to click on an article titled “How to Look Good Naked” and have Kourtney tell you to invest in some candles.
“Great lighting can do wonders for masking cellulite (yes, we all have it), and harsh lighting can do just the opposite,” the article states. “It’s no different when you’re disrobed, so do yourself a favor and set the mood by finding the illuminating situation that works best for you. Takeaway: candles are key.”
But some aspects of Poosh are baffling even by Kardashian standards. Take “Kourt’s Signature Salad,” which consists of sliced avocado, quartered hard-boiled eggs, a quartered tomato and fresh mozzarella arranged on a plate and seasoned with salt, pepper and olive oil. (Kourtney leaves out the cheese.) Our food writer Maura Judkis determined that this sad state of affairs does count as a salad, but not as a good one: “The website calls it ‘a healthy and filling dish,’ which is an awfully quaint fiction,” she wrote.
Another weird thing: Kourtney claiming that “healthy living gets a bad rap; it’s as though if you care about what you put in — or on — your body, then you’re not sexy or cool.” Literally, who says this?
And finally, does “Poosh” double as a punny verb? On the site’s Instagram account — which boasts 2.6 million followers because Kourtney cleverly reused the account of the family’s now-defunct Dash boutique — Kourtney tells us to “practice what you poosh,” and to #pooshtheboundaries. Poosh them, dammit!
It remains to be seen whether the site will thrive or instead join the family’s apps and Dash stores in the part of heaven reserved for all things Calabasas. For now, we reminisce on a simpler time, when the most advice Kourtney tried to give the public was on how to eat a Kit Kat like a serial killer.