The news? Britain’s National Pig Association’s prediction that a shortage of pork and bacon will befall global markets next year, a result of failed maize and soya harvests that supply pig herders with feed.

Or if you sympathize with Twitter personality-author @RuthBourdain , it’s a fulfillment of Mayan prophecy and vegans shall soon rule the world.

As predicted by the Mayans, the global bacon shortage will ultimately lead to the vegan apocalypse.

— Ruth Bourdain (@RuthBourdain) September 25, 2012

Bacon lovers have jumped on Twitter to express their various stages of grief, including denial (@FatChickinLA Nooooooooo it is a nightmare.), depression (@AJackart I am officially on suicide watch, this is tragic!) and blame (@TylerMachado Maybe we wouldn't be facing a bacon shortage if you twee hipsters didn't put bacon on cupcakes, in mixed drinks, etc.).

But in the words of Douglas Adams , don’t panic. We’ve compiled a few tips from level-headed tweeters to help calm pork-xiety.

Bacon shortage next year? Time to start breeding pigs and be Rollin in the dough.

— kyle(@KyleJCh) September 25, 2012

For those of you concerned about the impending doom associated with the shortage of bacon...I know a guy but it won’t be cheap — Rusty Byrd (@drhuntr) September 25, 2012

An even more important Flowchart given the predicted bacon shortage -> twitter.com/agriculturalla…

— NigelDavisSolicitors (@agriculturallaw) September 25, 2012

@kelsye I should stockup now while I can. #baconshortage

— Tara R. (@Tara_R) September 25, 2012

With the impending bacon shortage I have no choice but to consider turning my alley into a pig farm...

— KielT Schmidt (@kieltfs) September 25, 2012

A worldwide pork shortage is predicted for next year. So we should probably get all our bacon related tweets in now.

— John M (@John_M15) September 17, 2012

This is surely referencing the global bacon shortage. RT @altrazerodrop: “Where there is no struggle, there is no strength.”

— John Shepard (@RunShepRun) September 25, 2012

Congress seems more likely to act to solve the bacon shortage than sequestration.

— capitolization (@capitolization) September 25, 2012