The news? Britain’s National Pig Association’s prediction that a shortage of pork and bacon will befall global markets next year, a result of failed maize and soya harvests that supply pig herders with feed.
Or if you sympathize with Twitter personality-author @RuthBourdain , it’s a fulfillment of Mayan prophecy and vegans shall soon rule the world.
As predicted by the Mayans, the global bacon shortage will ultimately lead to the vegan apocalypse.— Ruth Bourdain (@RuthBourdain) September 25, 2012
Bacon lovers have jumped on Twitter to express their various stages of grief, including denial (@FatChickinLA Nooooooooo it is a nightmare.), depression (@AJackart I am officially on suicide watch, this is tragic!) and blame (@TylerMachado Maybe we wouldn't be facing a bacon shortage if you twee hipsters didn't put bacon on cupcakes, in mixed drinks, etc.).
But in the words of Douglas Adams , don’t panic. We’ve compiled a few tips from level-headed tweeters to help calm pork-xiety.
Bacon shortage next year? Time to start breeding pigs and be Rollin in the dough.— kyle(@KyleJCh) September 25, 2012
For those of you concerned about the impending doom associated with the shortage of bacon...I know a guy but it won’t be cheap — Rusty Byrd (@drhuntr) September 25, 2012
An even more important Flowchart given the predicted bacon shortage -> twitter.com/agriculturalla…— NigelDavisSolicitors (@agriculturallaw) September 25, 2012
With the impending bacon shortage I have no choice but to consider turning my alley into a pig farm...— KielT Schmidt (@kieltfs) September 25, 2012
A worldwide pork shortage is predicted for next year. So we should probably get all our bacon related tweets in now.— John M (@John_M15) September 17, 2012
This is surely referencing the global bacon shortage. RT @altrazerodrop: “Where there is no struggle, there is no strength.”— John Shepard (@RunShepRun) September 25, 2012
Congress seems more likely to act to solve the bacon shortage than sequestration.— capitolization (@capitolization) September 25, 2012