There is a bill now being considered by Missouri legislators that would come close to banning all conversations in public schools about sexual orientation as well as bar “gay-straight” alliances and other school-sponsored clubs that deal with sexual identity. And Stephen Colbert skewered it as only he can on The Colbert Report.

Opposition is growing to HB 2051, which would only permit discussion on sexual orientation during science class when human reproduction was being discussed. This would preclude any other discussions about the subject, thus, for example, making it illegal for teachers to discuss bullying based on sexual identity, or to utter a word about homosexuality in history or art, according to the Riverfront Times.

Opposition to the “don’t say gay” bill is growing among educators, doctors and others. But it’s a safe bet that Colbert is the funniest of the critics.

First he talks about how support for gay marriage among Americans has grown over the last decade. So, he said, “Thankfully one state is fighting to get our kids back on the straight and nothing else.”

Colbert showed a video of the bill’s sponsor saying that the bill was important because, he thinks, school should concentrate on math and reading and science.

“We need to keep the focus on those things for the student body and not on other things that can be distracting.”

To which Colbert responded: “Yes, homosexuality can be very distracting. Say you are in math glass and the teacher asks, ‘What’s five and seven,’ and you answer: ‘Gay.” Because everyone knows five and seven are kind of odd numbers.”

And at that point the words “binomial curious” flash on the screen.

He continues: “I’m not saying that they are necessarily gay. They could be lesbians.” And this flashes on the screen: “After all, 7 8 9.”

Pretending to support the bill’s intention to stifle discussion about sexual identity, he said “Finding out that homosexuality exists is a slippery slope to tolerating it.”

A similar bill in Tennessee is dying in the legislature without a vote.


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