When the people who attend this week’s South by Southwest festival and conference in Austin, Tx. aren’t busy decrying the “Homeless Hotspots,” they’re hearing speeches, watching movies, and listening to new music while you slave away at your desk. Ask them if they’re going to see any of these weirdly-named bands:

Alabama Shakes, from left, Zac Cockrell, Brittany Howard, Steve Johnson and Heath Fogg. (Don VanCleave/AP)

Most likely to be confused for an Animal Planet show: Talking To Turtles (Leipzig, Germany), Pets With Pets (Carlton North, Australia)

Most likely to be confused for a Simpsons character: Fat Tony (Houston). (Here’s the other one!)

Most likely to be confused with each other: Ancestors (Los Angeles), Ancestros (Cali, Colombia)

Creepiest: Free Blood (Brooklyn N.Y.), Dying Fetus (Baltimore), Early Graves (San Francisco)

Most likely to headline Ladies’ Night: Screaming Females (New Brunswick, N.J.), U.S. Girls (Chicago), Teengirl Fantasy (New York), Cheap Girls (Lansing, Mich.)

Most humble: Just A Band (Nairobi, Kenya), Frank (Just Frank) (Queens, N.Y.)

Bossiest: Say Hi (Seattle), Go Back To The Zoo (Amsterdam)

Most likely to inspire an Ashton Kutcher movie: 3 Dudes & a Mullet (Mexico City)

Five bands that could actually form a family: Daughter (London), Cousins (Halifax, Canada), THE GRANNIES (San Francisco), He's My Brother She's My Sister (Los Angeles), PAPA (Los Angeles)

Exiled from that same family: Uncle Bad Touch (Montreal), Uncle Lucius (Austin, Texas)

All over the map: Alabama Shakes (Athens, Ala.), Bad Weather California (Denver, Colo.), Dikes of Holland (Austin, Texas), Cairo Knife Fight (Christchurch, New Zealand), Cuba Cuba (Cardiff, Wales), L.A. (Palma De Mallorca, Spain)

Most tongue-tied: Com Truise (Princeton N.J.), Mord Fustang (Tallinn, Estonia)

Underdogs in a cliched sports movie: Sore Losers (Lancaster, Texas), Team Me (Elverum, Norway), Wussy (Cincinnati, Ohio), Wheelchair Sports Camp (Denver, Colo.)

Probably actually exists somewhere in America’s heartland: Two Cow Garage (Columbus, Ohio)

PETA has one of these, right? ALO (Animal Liberation Orchestra) (San Francisco)

Most likely to be a Skittles flavor: Turbo Fruits (Nashville TN)

Bands whose names form one salacious sentence: Oh Mercy (Melbourne, Australia), This Will Destroy You (San Marcos, Tx.), I Got You On Tape (Copenhagen, Denmark)