(Wildlife Conservation Society, YouTube)

You won’t actually get a pet cockroach; rather the gift will be in name only. For $10, you can name a Bronx Zoo roach after your beloved. For $15 more, you can commemorate the occasion with a dark chocolate roach. Though the chocolate roaches are lifelike, they don’t actually contain real roach. Proceeds benefit the Wildlife Conservation Society and its five parks in New York.

Unless there is a huge demand for the name-game gift, don’t worry about the zoo running short on supplies. There are more than 58,000 Madagascar hissing cockroaches in the Bronx Zoo.

The zoo says the roaches aren’t just for your Valentine-with-a-good-sense-of-humor. They’re also a great passive-aggressive gift for enemies, a prank for co-workers, or a teaching tool for kids. But your lover may be the best recipient. Just think of when you visit the hissing cockroach display. When she sees the roach that bears her name (could be any of them, right?) she’ll hiss sweet nothings in your ear.