The Webbys were awarded Monday night, all 140 of them, which we will now list right he —
No! Ha ha. We shan’t list all of the Webbys, that memed, streamed celebration of the Internet, though you can watch the whole show online if you desire (#tothecloud). We’ll list only the highlights, which are numerous. These awards are an excellent place to pop up if you want to be thought of as techy, nerdy, cool, nerdy-cool, innovative, un-Grandpa-like, etc., and there aren’t a lot of other venues that would draw the participation of both Bill Clinton and Justin Long (#DrewBarrymorescreening?)
Onward to the acceptance speeches, which, in what is the Webbys most brilliant innovation, are always limited to five words.
NYC Mayor Michael Bloomberg took home the Lifetime Achievement Award: “Make it here, then everywhere.”
NBC’s Brian Williams was honored with the Events and Live Webcasts award: “This is dedicated to teachers.”
Instagram won an award for Best Breakout: “This here needs no filter.”
Pinterest won for Best Social Media site, and thanked its patron saint: “Pinterest loves you, Ryan Gosling,”
And then Bjork, who is perhaps singularly prepared for the whimsical nature of the night, was named Artist of the Year. She wore what appeared to be cotton candy on her head, and accepted by reciting the vowel portion of the alphabet.
The biggest surprise of the evening went to the site’s inaugural — and audience-voted — Best Meme award. It went not to the sublime texts from Hillary but rather to Nyan Cat, a kitty/Pop-Tart hybrid whose skill set was limited to soaring through cyberspace against a background of numbing music.
“Thank you so much, Internet,” the creator said, after pretending to search frantically for his “speech.” He sounded pleased but in an ironic way, proud, but “Yeah, whatever.” An irony of the Webbys is that everyone shows up, then acts like it’s no big deal to be there, which, in a way, is the entirely appropriate attitude for an evening celebrating online behavior.
The centerpiece of the show was a montage tribute to Steve Jobs, in which two U.S. Presidents, one former vice president, Sarah Silverman, Bono, and assorted schoolchildren offered their own five-word tributes to the visionary.
Some cheated a bit with their word limits (Yes, you, President Obama), but if exceptions can’t be made for a Steve Jobs tribute, then one has entirely missed the point of a ceremony about the Internet anyway.