A tantalizing offer. (John Kelly)

I think that might be a little too much immersion for me.

The inside of the brochure. (John Kelly)

The stricken cruise liner Costa Concordia. (Filippo Monteforte/AFP/Getty Images)

I called American Express and a representative explained that it takes between six and eight weeks from when a brochure is put into creative to when it reaches mailboxes, making it too late to pull the mailing. “Obviously that offer is not valid,” she said.

The cruise does sound nice, though. Passengers can relax in the dazzling casino, savor a gourmet spa menu, indulge in a Turkish steam bath or “just linger on a spacious teak sun deck and savor la dolce vita.”

Don’t linger too long, though. The lifeboats are waiting.