(From NOAA, adapted by author)

You know it’s hot when:

* You see a bird using a potholder to pull a worm out of the ground.
* Farmers are feeding crushed ice to their chickens so they won’t lay boiled eggs.
* Electric bills for A/C are more than the house payment.
* You’ve canceled your Hotmail account because you didn’t like the name

* You refer only to a Celsius thermometer to enjoy summer temperatures that rarely exceed 35 degrees.
* Corn on the stalks starts popping and flying through the air.
* Popsicles melt completely within 20 seconds of removing them from a container of dry ice.

More jokes:

* “I can’t believe it,” said the intern sometime in the future. “I’ve been in Washington, D.C. for most of the summer and it’s been excessively hot and humid the whole time. When do you have breaks with periods of cool/dry conditions, as my parents told me were common even back in the early 2000’s? “Well, that’s hard to say,” replied the local. “Last year, it was on a Wednesday.”

* What did one thermometer say to his/her prospective mate? You make my temperature rise.

* As George got out of the shower he said to his wife “honey, it’s too darned hot to wear clothes today, what do you think the neighbors will say if I mow the lawn naked”. “That I married you for your money”.





(note: above are exemplary; the same material appears in many sites across the web)