Surely you can say something as nasty as this guy. (AP Photo/Joel Ryan)

If that’s the case, you’re in luck, because flinging Simon Cowell-esque commentary could make you a winner in the weekly Celebritology contest, “What Would Simon Say?”

After watching Wednesday’s and/or Thursday’s episode of “Idol,” airing at 8 EST on Fox, come back to this blog item and post a comment that assesses one of the contestants, using the sort of cutting, pithy phrases Cowell might have used. You have until midnight Friday to enter. (Read all the contest rules and regulations here .)

Each week, I’ll determine a winner, whose witty, judgmental and (most importantly) Simon Cowell-ish rhetoric will be featured in a Celebritology post on Monday. We’ll start the process all over again every Wednesday and announce a new winner the following Monday.

Deal? Good. Now start thinking like Simon Cowell. If that means you have to unfasten additional buttons on your shirt, so be it.

More coverage:

”American Idol” in The TV Column blog