As the world is already well aware, Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux are engaged to be married.


It’s happy news, albeit news that technically does not affect most of us on a personal level. Nevertheless, the media and public have responded accordingly, issuing their heartfelt congratulations to two people they do not know and/or adding their uniquely sarcastic takes on the situation to Twitter.

As with most things in the digital era, the reactions to this information are as revealing and/or entertaining as the actual facts themselves. Here are some of my favorites so far.

From Bonnie Fuller via this morning’s “Today” show segment on the Aniston/Theroux engagement: “America has been really worried about Jen ... they want her to find happiness, and now it looks like she has.” Yes, thankfully, all of our worries have now ceased to exist. Man, that is a relief.

Via Twitter ... The “Friends” connection.

I’m happy Jennifer Aniston is engaged but I also feel bad for Ross.

— Amy Rhodes (@iamamyrhodes) August 13, 2012

The still-bitter-about-Jolie angle, courtesy of Suri’s Burn Book. (For the record, I personally do not want Angelina Jolie, or anyone else for that matter, to be hit by a car: I am merely the messenger of sarcastic tweets here.)

Jennifer Aniston is engaged! I hope she and Justin are really happy together and that Angelina Jolie gets hit by a car.

— Suri’s Burn Book (@surisburnbook) August 12, 2012

Andy Borowitz, putting this into proper historical perspective.

Egyptians used Twitter to spread a revolution, much as we use it to spread news of Jennifer Aniston’s engagement. #USA

— Andy Borowitz (@BorowitzReport) August 13, 2012

This extremely cynical tweet ...

is it too early to start the countdown until jennifer aniston’s 2nd divorce??

— the blowout (@theblowout) August 13, 2012

... is balanced out by this excessively happy one.

I love Jennifer Aniston I love Jennifer Aniston I love Jennifer Aniston I love Jennifer Aniston I love Jennifer Aniston I love

— Eva Wiseman (@EvaWiseman) August 13, 2012

In the comments on the Celebritology post about the engagement, Bawlmer51 has basically summarized the pre-Pitt/Jolie and Aniston/Theroux wedding coverage we can expect to see in coming weeks: “OMG OMG OMG. Will there be catfights over the same wedding dress? What if they wear the same shoes?! WHAT IF THEY HAVE VAGUELY SIMILAR BOUQUETS? They MUST be in direct competition, NOTHING ELSE will fill the hollow shell of my existence unless I can see ANGELINA AND JEN: “BATTLE OF THE CELEBRITY BRIDEZILLAS.”

And, lastly, here’s a tweet from my personal account, which sort of ties the whole “Friends”/Pitt rivalry room together.

Don’t know or care whether Aniston or Pitt weds 1st. Do think it would rock if, as a gag, Pitt says “I take thee Rachel” during his vows.

— Jen Chaney (@chaneyj) August 13, 2012