As the Early Lead notes, Ms. Knowles has a tough act to follow ratings-wise, as 114 million people watched last year’s Madonna-stravaganza, co-starring M.I.A.’s middle digit. But in terms of following Madonna quality-wise, I think Beyoncé’s got this. (So does Washington Post music critic Chris Richards, who suggested Beyoncé for this role two years ago. NFL, why don’t you listen to Chris Richards’s advice in a more timely fashion? Learn for next time, maybe?)
Here are eight reasons why Beyoncé will, most likely, deliver a stronger Super Bowl halftime show than Madonna did.
1. No LMFAO
Hey, remember last year, when this happened?
Beyoncé won’t do that, partly because LMFAO is on hiatus and partly because Beyoncé has better potential cameo appearances in her back pocket — heck, in her own household — than the “Party Rock Anthem” duo.
2. Jay-Z could show up onstage
Husband and wife could definitely bring a little “Crazy in Love” to the proceedings. Or Kanye West, defender of Beyoncé videos, could do a pop-in. Destiny’s Child could reunite. And I still haven’t even mentioned the best possible Beyoncé Super Bowl cameo that could occur...
Remember when Prince played the Super Bowl halftime show in 2007 and created the best non-football-related moment in football game history?
Do you further remember back in 2004 when Beyoncé and Prince sang a mind-burstingly good medley together at the Grammys?
Now imagine mashing these two things together on a stage in New Orleans. Got goosebumps yet? That’s okay. I’ve got some extras I can loan you.
Beyoncé will totally sing “Halo,” and every football fan across this great nation will shed tears that will land right in their french onion dip, making it even more delightfully salty.
5. Maybe she’ll do “Single Ladies” and a bunch of football players will dance?
It worked on “Glee.” Frankly, I think it will be an oversight if she doesn’t do it.
6. Oh, wait. I have another, even better “Single Ladies” idea.
Justin Timberlake can join her on “Single Ladies” while wearing a leotard. Putting Timberlake onstage during the Super Bowl with a female singer will also make the NFL and CBS, the network airing the Super Bowl, pants-wettingly nervous. So: yes. This needs to happen.
7. Blue Ivy Carter makes her first stage appearance.
Nothing unites this country more than the Super Bowl and Beyoncé’s infant. The child shall be trotted onto the stage in a Swarovski crystal-encrusted jumper, and she shall be adored by all.
8. Ooh! Or Beyoncé could announce she’s pregnant, even if she technically isn’t.
She’s done that during live performances before, as we all surely recall.
To up the ante, maybe she could do it while holding Blue Ivy and singing “Halo”? That would be the Beyoncé Super Bowl Halftime Triple Lindy, everyone. And I think she has the skill, the training and the showmanship to pull it off.