Chaz Bono. (Matt Sayles/AP)

(Note: These tweets have been translated from ALL CAPS shorthand to a more readable form.)

“Is it ‘DWTS’ or looking perfect ‘WTS?’ It’s easy for him to take cheap shots at Chaz! Let him come to ‘my’ stage,’” Cher tweeted. “I could teach his little arm waving [butt] some manners! Critique Chaz’s dance style, movements, etc. But don’t make fun of my child on national TV.”

For his part, Bono said he’s “just grateful to have had the experience. I’m not leaving this show bitter or angry or anything.” Cher eventually felt the same way. (TV Column; @Cher; EW)

Michael Lohan will appear in a Tampa court today on charges that he hit his girlfriend, Kate Major. TMZ has obtained evidence photos of (WTSP Tampa)

James Van Der Beek announced that he and his wife are expecting another baby roughly one year after the pair welcomed daughter, Olivia. (@VanDerJames)

Producer Brian Grazer claims that Stephen King’s “The Dark Tower” is headed to HBO. (MTV)

Jessica Simpson has revealed ... that she’s too short for the toilets at Bergdorf’s. (@Jessica Simpson; Us Weekly)

Mark Wahlberg’s Wahlburgers is now open for business and a reality show may be in the works, which is wicked awesome. (Boston Herald)

Jason Sudeikis and Ashley Olsen may be dating. (NYDN)

Jennifer Aniston has quit smoking. Hooray! But it’s caused her to gain a few pounds. So what! She’s also not engaged or pregnant. (Lifeline)

A CBS sitcom star is getting hitched and some seriously shocking photos of Courtney Stodden emerge, after the jump.

Kaley Cuoco is engaged. (People)

Photos of a younger Courtney Stodden have hit the Internet. This whole thing just got a lot sadder. (Jezebel; Buzzfeed)

James Franco’s butt is on a magazine cover. See the NSFW/NSFL (that’s not suitable for life, naturally) picture at the link. (EW)

Julianne Hough got a haircut. (People)

Behold: The best Ron Swanson pumpkins. (Buzzfeed)