The “Diner” guys. Who, for the record, are not singing over their french fries and gravy. (MGM)

In what appears to be an ongoing effort to tarnish the legacy of every great Kevin Bacon movie ever made, “Diner” — the 1982 Baltimore-set, male-bonding comedy that also starred Steve Guttenberg, Daniel Stern, Tim Daly, Ellen Barkin and Mickey Rourke during his smokin’ hot period — is being made into a Broadway musical.

Deadline reports that Barry Levinson — writer-director of the movie that launched his filmmaking career, as well as those of the aforementioned stars — will write the book for the musical, while Sheryl Crow will handle music and lyrics.

“I’m excited to be embarking on this stage version, which affords me the opportunity as a storyteller to expand on my original vision and let the characters express their innermost feelings and thoughts through song,” Levinson tells Deadline.

If Levinson is behind the project, that’s a positive sign and one that suggests it’s probably wise to keep an open mind. Still, my kneejerk response to this concept can best be described as: “Noooooo!”

I don’t want to watch Shrevie sing the heartfelt “What’s on the Flip Side?” I don’t want to see the splashy, all-company number “Sinatra or Mathis.” And I really, really don’t need to see a Broadway musical version of that stunt Boogie tried to pull on Carol Heathrow.

Crow also strikes me as an odd choice for the material, but again, Levinson must know what he’s doing. Presumably he at least made her take a football quiz before he hired her for the job.

As for the set that will eventually grace a Broadway stage when the show opens next fall, I have a two-word suggestion: Colts colors.