(Via ABC.com)

In case you were curious about her sexual orientation — which, let’s face it, you probably weren’t — Parton clarified matters last night in a “Nightline” interview that aired just in time to promote her new book, “Dream More: Celebrate the Dreamer in You.” During the sitdown with ABC’s Juju Chang, the openly plastic surgified and always charming singer denied rumors that supposedly have existed for years regarding her relationship with her childhood friend, Judy Ogle.

“Judy and I have been best friends since we were, like, in third and fourth grade,” Parton, who has been married to her husband, Carl Dean, for 46 years, told Chang. “I mean, I love her as much as I love anybody in the whole world. But we’re not romantically involved.”

Parton also said that she and Oprah Winfrey — who has been the focus of gay rumors that you probably actually have heard, because of her bond with Gayle King — have joked about how silly it is that some people think they’re lesbians just because they have close female friends. It’s not clear when or where Parton, Winfrey and/or King engaged in said conversations, but let’s just assume those chats unfolded in a situation very similar to this one:

During the interview, Parton also amusingly noted that she once entered herself in a Dolly Parton drag queen contest and got the least applause of any of the contestants.

“They just thought I was some little short gay guy,” she laughed.

So, to recap: Dolly Parton was once mistaken for a gay guy. But Dolly Parton is not gay, and, also, not a guy.

Please return to your regularly scheduled life, which is already in progress. Well, return to it after watching the interview below. You know, if you want.